Here comes...Sue E?

This past weekend Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz made it official at her parents' home in California. The reception was an "Alice in Wonderland" themed event complete with Mad Hatter Hat on the cake. I'm sure it was a lovely event, not really my taste, but lovely nonetheless.



The Simpson/Wentz nuptials got me to thinking about weddings. And since themed weddings seem to be all of the rage these days, I'm sure a wedding like the one I am about to describe would not disappoint.



If I were planning a wedding, I'd be sure to plan it as follows. And you all owe me one loud Sooooie!



Venue - Ah, the venue. Perhaps the most important decision the bride will make. The venue determines the feel of the wedding. Formal, casual, semi-formal? The venue tells all. That's why I would make sure my wedding took place at Donald W. Reynold's Razorback Stadium on the 50 yard line of Frank Broyles field.



Apparel - Another very important decision and one that can get very costly...but have no fear, when you are a b-dazzling queen, no event is too large for you. Bridesmaids should wear cutoff jean skirts, with a t-shirt, b-dazzled specially for them. "I'm with groomsman #"(corresponding football number) will be on the back of each shirt.

And the groomsmen shouldn't have to worry with a pesky tux. Just launder up your football jersey and wear it with some khakis and we're in business folks.



Flowers - Homecoming Mum Corsages anyone?



As for the music, why hire a professional band when you have "The Best in Sight in Sound," right in your backyard? The groom and all of his men will walk out to the fight song, they'll hit that line, hit that line and (if he's smart) keep on going...while the bridal party will walk out accompanied by "Hey Baby." Classic tunes if you ask me.



After the I do's this party moves into the locker room! The groom's cake (a razorback, of course) would sit on the training table and guests will be served "Rebel Devil Eggs" and "Tangy Tiger Treats" for refreshments. The bride and groom should enjoy their first dance as husband and wife to the triumphant, "O Lord, it's hard to be humble, when your an Arkansas Razorback fan" changing the words to "O, Lord it's hard to be humble, when you marry a Razorback man..."



After a few rousing rounds of calling the hogs, the couple should be off for their honeymoon, riding away with a "Just Married" sign attached to their red VW bug.