ShePratt is SCARY

NEED I SAY MORE?

Probably not, but I will. I read on PinkIsTheNewBlog.com that shepratt has a bit of a shady past. It seems she likes to shoplift. I wonder if the Pratts really have all of the money that Spencer wants us to think they have.
First he buys Heidi a costume ring and calls it an engagement ring and now we learn that his sister was arrested for shoplifting. And to state the obvious, her mugshot is not flattering. Would you want to have that yelling at you at a bar? I wouldn't. Nor would I want her out claiming to be my best friend (poor Heidi-LC was a much better choice for a bff).

When holidays and Hills collide

Due to the holiday and my need to pack for a flight the next day, I didn't actually watch last week's episode of The Hills until tonight. I know. It's shocking. Anyway, I was going to skip over the recap, but after watching it I definitely have some things to say! And also, I hear people saying/blogging/bitching about how the Hills is fake and scripted and whatever else. Here's what I'm saying: I don't care. Officially. So, just quit whining about it and let peoeple watch the friggin show already! I like it!

Part one: "Ah, to be a natural beauty."
I really enjoy the dynamic between Whitney and Lauren. It's like they're friends, but they aren't super close, so they can't be TOO honest with each other. How else would Lauren let Whitney go out of the house (to meet a boy!) in that getup? Is she serious with that lingerie/tights combo? I know I don't work at Teen Vogue, but she looked like an ice skater.

Whitney's trainer/date seemed kinda lame, too. It would be weird to date your trainer, wouldn't it? When they went up to that park, they would talk and all the sudden he'd bust in with, "OK, give me 10 jumping jacks!" Oh, that's not gonna work for me, actually. Not to mention that he just stands there and watches you while you do them. Weird!

Speidi came thisclose to breaking up when Spencer decided that they should forget about couples counseling and just elope to Vegas. Heidi wasn't so thrilled about the idea and gave him his ring back. I was pretty sure it was going to melt if it got too close to that flame (in one of the 50 candles they had lit, what's up with them?), close call. Spencer left because nothing says, "I'm mature enough to consider marriage" like leaving in the middle of an argument. Oh, but don't worry. Those roses and ever-so-heartfelt apology should clear things right up. The wedding is BACK ON!

Part two: The She-Pratt
Spencer's got a sister...yikes! Lauren should be more scared of her, for reals. And, as it turns out, ShePratt is not afraid to make a fool out of herself in public. The confrontation between her and her psycho friend and Lauren's posse was one of the more ridiculous things I've seen a Pratt do, and that's really saying something. Brody actually did a good job defending Lauren and himself, but then again, I'm on their (logical) side, so it totally made sense to me. ShePratt didn't so much understand. And neither did Spencer when she explained it to him. Of course, Spencer gave huge props to ShePratt for defending him and butting into his business. Oh, but the best part was watching Heidi's face when ShePratt referred to herself as Heidi's "best friend." Ah, yeah, I know she has like zero friends, but Bunney and Worker Potential Friend are certainly above you. Crazy! She also thought JBob was "the nicest one outta all them" so that tells you something.

The only other interesting thing in this episode was Audrina breaking up with JBob. I guess no more dreads and head scarves in our future. Sad. Even sadder was when it seemed as if Audrina was going to forgive JBob for kissing that other trashy girl. She was a milisecond away from being completely dead to me. But she redeemed herself and sent JBob packing, all classy-like in her fancy apartment. That apt. is bad luck. It's where everyone goes to break up.

Next week! Lauren confronts Brody about knowing a lot of other girls, in the always interesting "are-we-or-aren't-we-dating" dance! Game on!

Project Runway: You Better Watch!

Are you all watching Project Runway?! I just watched last week's episode and I have two things to mention that I 100% guarantee will get you watching again.

One: The guest star on last week's episode was SARAH JESSICA PARKER!! I literally gasped when she came on screen. She is adorable! And one of my (and I know your) favorites. Even if you don't want to watch the rest of the season, you should at least watch last week's episode because the winning design was cute and its going to be a part of her fall/winter Bitten line. But I think after the next reason you will be watching all season long...

Two: One of the models was in the Ad/PR department at U of A! This is her pic from the first episode and I totally recognize her from the halls or a class or something. True, the models don't get featured that much on this show, but still! I want to see how far she goes! She wasn't in the second episode much because only half the models got to work the runway since the designers paired up. But she shows up at the beginning when the designers select the models. Watch for her, I know you'll recognize her.

I got the FEVER!

Christmas fever, that is! After a wonderful Thanksgiving with Eric's side of the family, which included several large (and delicious) meals and over 400 family photos, I'm officially ready for Christmas! It's a bit early, I'll admit, especially since I was the one nagging on the blog about a month ago about how people are decorating for Christmas earlier and earlier every year. But, it's not THAT early. Thanksgiving is over and that's fair game to begin the Christmas season. Regardless, I got the urge to decorate the apt. last night and it's a winter wonderland in there now! We have a 3 foot plastic tree that is adorned with lights, beads and ornaments and it's so cute. It makes my day to come home from work and plug that bad boy in! Such joy! The rest of the place is full of Christmas nick-nacks from Christmas' of yore. About 95% of the decorations come from Eric's mom who usually sends me some new stuff every year, and it's all really cute and festive and I love it. In fact, I think the reason I decided to decorate so early is because Eric's family had already decorated their houses with the first wave of decor. Whatever the reason, the countdown to Christmas has begun. And you'd better believe I've got a cute, little countdown chotchky to help me get there!

All I Want for Christmas

Well ladies, Christmas is fast approaching. I have bought all of one present for the people in my family, which means that I pretty much haven't even started Christmas shopping yet. Not good.

But anyway, we need to decide what we want to do this year. We have a few options that I'll list below. Feel free to change or add anything.

Option One: Choose a dollar limit and get each other gifts.
Option Two: No gifts. Spend our money on a nice dinner out with each other (i.e. Bordino's).
Option Three: Buy small gifts and go out for dinner on the cheap (i.e. Guido's).
Option Four: Choose a collectible gift category (like ornaments, except not ornaments because everyone does ornaments) and get that for each other this year and for years to come.

Sooooo, let's decide!

The Tooth Fairy visits Ryan Reynolds

Since movie stars have more money than they know what to do with, I am sure they are especially hard to shop for. So I could imagine that if your movie star boyfriend was turning 31 you might really struggle with what to get him. I mean I am sure they already have everything they could ever want or need.
One might think of presenting them with a trip or maybe even a romantic dinner...but not Scarlett Johansson. Oh no, she is not content to present her boyfriend with meaningless material goods. She has much bigger plans for her boyfriend on his birthday.
She's gonna get him his very on visit from the Tooth Fairy...and what might the Tooth Fairy bring, you might ask...well obviously she'll bring S.Johansson's boyfriend one of S.Johansson's wisdom teeth. And clearly when giving a wisdom tooth as a present, one must dip it in gold and make it into a necklace, because what says Happy Birthday Sweetie more than a gold-plated wisdom tooth necklace?

I have to cite my source here, as my boss actually found this g and told me about it.

So to recap - Ryan Reynolds recently turned 31, his girlfriend Scarlett Johansson gave him a necklace made of one of her gold-dipped wisdom teeth. Romantic.

How do you spell D-E-N-I-A-L?

Brent Bolthouse is running the show tonight! "Isn't that Heidi's boss?" Really, Whitney? Do you watch the show? No, don't answer that. Because I know you do. Don't even lie!

Heidi invites new girl (potential friend!) to the Power of the Vote event that Bolthouse is throwing. This is a really good idea for two reasons: 1) Heidi has no other friends, and otherwise she'd have to go alone and 2) she saves having to take Spencer out in public and embarrass herself. Finally thinking clearly!

Hmmm...anyone famous? No...no...guy form Ugly Betty, he gets a maybe...and OH. NO. HE. ISN'T! Justin Timberlake, ya'll! Turning up for the good causes, cuz he's a model citizen! Wait, what is this event for? "Declaring Yourself?" What does that mean? If I were J.TImb. I would declare myself the most awesome dancer/singer/Saturday Night Live guest host ever!

What is up with Lauren's front pooch area of her dress? It is basically a second stomach on the outside of her dress. But at least she's wearing something besides a super short shiny sequined dress like Heidi and Potential Friend (PT).

Oooh, cut to the motorcycle twins...and cue matching leather jackets. They are out on a "date" ah, and JBob's growing out dreads. Nothing he does surprises me anymore. Oh, but wait. The loudest, most disgusting burp in history, right in the middle of Audrina's confession that she is nervous about work. Why does she put up with this crap? And then he lies about calling her and she asks him out on a date. Well, if she's only going to encourage his behavior, then she deserves what she gets.

It's time for the confrontation! Heidi refers to Lauren as "that girl I've been telling you about" to PT as if she has never seen the show. And then Heidi thinks it's a good idea to say hello. Yeah, that sounds awesome, why not? She only hates your guts, what's the biggie?

Well, apparently those 2 are not on the same page about the fallout. Heidi thinks she's an innocent old friend who is just catching up and frankly, I don't buy it at all. I'm glad Lauren didn't get all crazy and cut her. She handled herself pretty well, considering that her ex BFF won't admit that she's ever done anything wrong in her entire life.

Uhhh, what was that commercial/movie about a line for Target? Did anyone watch it? Weird.

Audrina's promotion makes her a groupie, essentially, right? Whatever, she and Sean Kingston should date. He's a teddy bear! Oooh, and she's ditching JBob for Sean! I like where this is going.

Question: Who IMs in the year 2007? Heidi sets up a meeting! It's all happening.

Sean Kingston teaches Audrina and other epic girl some new lingo, including "poppin'" "tore it up" and "shut it down." I cast my vote for Sean as the newest cast member of The Hills.

Spencer is reading Heidi's chat. He's such a great catch. WHY does he hate Lauren so much? For trying to break them up? She didn't do anything other than want to hang out with her best friend. What is the crime, Spence?

I can't believe that I for one second thought those flowers to Audrina could be from JBob. HA! No, they are from Big Sean Kingston, who is only 17?! Did I hear that right?

Oh god, Heidi brought flowers to Lauren. She's desperate. Lauren throws them into the sink. Classic.

And their talk was very informative, because while Heidi didn't flat out admit that Spencer spread the rumors, she never denied anything. So, it's obvious it was him. What gets me is why Heidi has to put this huge ribbon on everything and tie it up nice and pretty. Why with all the "oh, the apartment looks nice" crap and at the end with "Have a good night, Lauren." It's clear that she doesn't care, but she has to be so fake all the time. She's extremely fake to the point of being condescending, like no one else can tell. Well, guess what lady, you're ridiculous!

At least Lauren sat there for a minute with a scowl acknowledging that things were bad.

Next week: Premarital counseling! Yes, this is the best idea EVER! Ah, and of course, Spencer wants to go to Vegas instead. You go on Heidi, you throw that ring in his face! I wish it was the end of Speidi, but it's obvious that they are still out there, defiling Taco Bells everywhere.

A Very Simple Choice

Dear Fellow Bloggers of StopYellingAtMe,

You two have a very simple choice to make:

1)

OR

2)

I would think this would be a very easy choice, but after reading the last post....I'm not sure what to think. A world that embraces TomKat embraces EVERYTHING that is crazy.
That's how he gets you. He acts all nice and charming - supports his robot, I mean wife, while she runs a marathon that he MADE her run. Anyone can have a cute kid when they go pick it out at the store...I'm still not convinced that Katie was ever actually pregnant. Anyway, so he's all nice and charming and his movies start becoming hits again and he limits his time in front of the cameras and people are all "Maybe I was wrong about TomKat. Maybe they are AWESOME." And then he's gonna be jumping on furniture again and screaming and cheering that he tricked America, just like he tricked Katie. It's only a matter of time before we are all robots living in Tom's CRUISAZY world. Unless someone stands up to his craziness. And fellow bloggers, I feel that someone is ME. So I say no to TomKat. I don't care if Katie runs from LA to NY, I'm NEVER EVER going to like them.

Droppin' the G

We haven't talked about celebs in a while, so I thought we needed to dish on the latest in celeb life. Soooo... here we go. Let's start with a little confession from me. I am starting to like TomKat. Yes, that was hard for me to type. There are a few reasons I've come to this decision. One, their baby is C-U-T-E and no one can deny that. Two, Katie ran a marathon. You have to give props to a girl who can run a full marathon after having a baby. And Suri is not that old (And speaking of babies, it's time for the annoucement JLo. We all know you've got one in there.). Three, they aren't in our faces all the time like they used to be. Instead of pictures every single day, all day, we get maybe one or two a week. And in those pics, they seem happy and more genuine than before. And finally, I haven't heard any crazy Scientology talk from them in a while. So until further notice, I'm on team TomKat.

Rosie O'Donnell is in talks for another show. Sick. I will readily admit that I enjoyed her in the early years. Her first talk show was funny and entertaining. She threw Koosh balls around all the time and made people laugh. Flash forward to The View: The only things she throws around is bad attitude and she constantly berates the lovely Elisabeth Hasselbeck. While I pass no judgment on her lifestyle, I think she a rude, arrogant person and I will not be tuning in to hear her views on anything.

And finally, because I'm running out of things that I care about, I have to mention Spears. We said we didn't want to talk about her anymore, but it has to be said that she is still plum crazy (and notice how I didn't use cruiseazy this time. See, I like 'em).

The Hills: A character study

Lisa Love. Oh, Lisa Love...you are perhaps the epitome of every scary woman boss that has ever existed. But, I think it's just for show. I saw you secretly enjoying hanging out with Whitney during the seating at the Young Hollywood fashion show. You're a softy at heart, aren't you?! I bet Lisa and Whitney are BFFs by now.

Heidi. Poor, been drinkin' illegally for years, Heidi. Celebrating your 21st birthday might be exciting if you had waited to order that first drink on the special day. However, ordering a glass of wine at LUNCH on a work day isn't exactly the thrill that you should be getting. Don't you know that Brent Bolthouse Tivo's The Hills on a Season Pass, girl? Please, get smart about it. And while you're at it, dump Spencer. Just dump him. He got you the great purse and I'm sure it was mucho dinero, but after the purse excitement, there was nothing between you at all. Stop the charade! You both probably deserve each other, but I'm sick of watching you both at Taco Bell pretending to give a crap about hunger issues.

Justin Bobby. You are my favorite, J.Bob, I'll go ahead and say it. This is only because when you appear on screen I know I'm destined for a laugh. And you did not disappoint me tonight with your and Audrina's matching leather jackets. It was enough that you wore the black boots with capris, but you took it up a notch with the leather, and I commend you for it. What I don't care for is that you never answer a question directly. If someone asks you if you're dating a girl, an appropriate response might be something like, "yeah" or "no" even. Not, "she's a good person" or "pretty good." Yeah, because those 2 answers don't even make sense at all. Not even a little.

Previews. See, this is where MTV is riding a very thin line with me. Because I have been deceived one too many times, MTV. Pretending that the fashion show would start too early, thus costing Whitney and Lauren their jobs at the hand of Lisa Love is just mean. That whole "mishap" lasted all of 5 seconds. And yet...and yet, I am very excited about next week's episode because it's the dreaded reunion of former best friends! Heidi and Lauren run into each other at an event at some club or something. Doesn't matter. There is a shouting match of some kind and then Heidi wants to meet up with Lauren where (apparently), Lauren tells Heidi that she wants to "forget" her. Ouch! Those are harsh words. And we'll see if Lauren in fact does say them to Heidi. Or whether MTV just cut that all together with bits and pieces from past seasons. Oh, like they wouldn't do it?

It's Just a Little Crush

I've decided that Lee Pace, better known as "Ned" from Pushing Daisies (and let's face it, that's a cuter name for him anyway), is my new celeb crush. Last season I guess I would have to say that Dr. Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey, duh) was my TV crush. I'm not sure he had much competition. I guess Jack Shepherd on Lost is attractive but lack of shaving tools on that island strikes him right out of my book. Of all the TV shows I watch, I frankly cannot think of any other characters that I find really attractive. Anyhoo, Dr. Shepherd is still plenty good-looking, his relationship with droopy-faced Meredith is just annoying now. I'm over it. He was probably always a little too suave for me anyway.

So it's on to Ned. He's charming. He's cute. He's funny in a subtle way. I'd like to think that he's a lot like many of the guys I dated in high school and in college. Only, truth be told, he's much better looking and much more charming. Now I just have to hope that quirky little Pushing Daisies and Ned can charm a few more viewers and stay on the air!