Now, just pretend you don't hate each other...

First, a quick note about the Rolling Stone cover featuring the ladies of The Hills. Have you all seen this yet? I read it one day while perusing some merchandise at a local bookstore (I didn't buy it, so sue me). The article was fine, whatever, no new revelations or anything. But what is interesting is that all the girls were present at the same time for the shoot. Lauren and Heidi were apparently on "best behavior" during. The cover pic they choose is weird. Lauren isn't even looking at the camera and Whitney is practically falling down. Plus, there's Heidi. Ugh. What is this, Maxim? Give me a break with the sex kitten stuff, Heidi. We don't want to see your duck lips pouting anymore. Enough is enough! And on to the recap...

Another day at work for Bolthouse Industries. Heidi approaches Brent about relocating to another Bolthouse office. Brent dishes her some serious BS about being actively involved in a hotel/casino in Vegas. Code for: move to Vegas and pretend to work for us to get us more publicity! Nice work, Montag.

Those b*tches have their own pool! Lo and Lauren are sunning themselves and Audrina comes out to tell them how she's hanging out with Alkaline Trio. She politely invites them to come and see her for a bit in the afternoon and Lo clearly hates this idea because her face looks like she just ate a lemon. Hates it. PS. Alkaline Trio? Gimme a break, Audrina.

Sweet, Alkaline Trio are recording their album and Audrina and her work friend are pretending to be into it. Lauren and Lo stay for about 5 seconds. I don't really blame them. The music sucks and they are just standing there awkwardly. So Lo pouts until she gets to leave and go get some food. While they are eating sushi they talk about how it's hard to talk to Audrina. It's clear that Lo is the new Audrina. I'll go ahead and say it: good riddance!

ShePratt heads over to Heidi's place and gets the word on Heidi's new job. ShePratt feels sorry for her bro because "they are perfect for each other," which may be true since I don't know two other terrible people that I'd like to fix either of them up with. But mostly it's because if Heidi leaves then ShePratt will be stuck with him! That would suck for her. Heidi makes ShePratt promise not to tell Spencer. That's not happening. Duh. She practically texts him while they're still talking.

OMG! A puppy! She's adorable, as all puppies are. The shocker comes when Lo says that "in puppy school, she's gonna be like, 'I have TWO mommies'" and Audrina looks as if she will burst into tears.

I can't recap this next scene because I hate Spencer so much, but basically ShePratt tells Spencer to "stop being such a jerk and eating all our steak" (OK, that's from Napoleon Dynamite) and move out. He continues to call HER pathetic (wow) and tell her that he can't wait to move out. Well, you've waited quite a bit already, now haven't you? He's the worst.

J.Bob's in the house! He's talking coherently and it's throwing me off. It looks like Audrina is feeling awkward living there and J.Bob convinces her to look into other places.

Oh Lord. Brent and that other Bolthouse dude pull up to the PLANE (as in on the runway) and take off to Vegas. Meanwhile, Spencer pulls up to the old apartment with a duffle bag only to find that Heidi's not there. Oh snap. This is awesome. He's sad. He calls ShePratt to see what the dealio is and I will admit that I'm surprised (and delighted) that ShePratt didn't tell him that Heidi was leaving. And you know that he's heading to Vegas...

Next week: Season finale!! Guess who's going to Vegas to ruin Heidi's life AND her job?! He's an awesome guy, huh? Audrina talks to Lauren about Lo breaking up their friendship. Lauren cries. I will be tuning in.