The worst person in the world. Easy.

Tonight's episode opens with Lauren asking Whitney about her music man friend and Whitney says they have been in touch and, oh wait...that's right, this show is about Lauren and she interrupts her immediately and blurts out that Holly is staying with her since Heidi kicked her out. Phew! Cuz I was almost confused about whether I was watching The Hills or The City. Thanks for clarifying, LC. Anyway, Holly's staying with Lauren and I'm sure that Speidi are going to be mad. Let the drama ensue.

Audrina and JBob venture to his world, Venice Beach (aka land of the freaks). They plan a vaca to Mexico and sit on the beach. JBob gets very zen like and makes it an excuse for why he doesn't like to stay at Audrina's place.

Over at Speidi's house Spencer finds Heidi going through her ridonkulous wardrobe. She is trying to stay busy and since Spencer spends all day playing arcade games, he's unaware of the concept. They start to argue about how Spencer got Heidi fired and how "that wasn't the only thing he did." Heidi apparently doesn't know where Holly is? Really? Like she seriously kicked her out and that was it? Yikes. And Spencer makes some dumb comment about how he is so sad that he doesn't get to see Holly anymore. And see, that is the thing: how can she be with someone like that? I don't care who you are (Heidi or not), if someone says something like that about someone that you care about - friends, family, whatever - then that's it. You're done. Why even bother dealing with someone like that? In the oh-so-wise words of Mr. Brent Bolthouse, "You are the company you keep, Heidi." Think about it!

Party time with Lauren and Audrina! That was lame city. They just sat at the bar and didn't talk about anything interesting. Losers.

Horse-face sister is over at Audrina's place, which is already fully decorated. Horsey starts to question whether or not JBob is a good guy for only seeing Audrina when it's convenient for him. Hey listen, long-face, you have been on this show for like 3 minutes, so I don't really understand how you think you can skip past the blank stare phase of your contract and move right into the asking scripted questions portion. You aren't getting any more money, if that's what you're after. The economy just can't handle it right now.

Time for Heidi to beg for her job back! After some pretty mediocre grovelling Sam agrees to give her a temporary position because they are opening a new hotel. I don't know what she'll be doing exactly and they don't get into it because Sam basically pushes her out the door. Oh, but he does say that Spencer isn't welcome at any of his hotels or clubs or even streets that he's walking on. The kid sucks and Sam knows it and now he's blacklisted - booyah! So, I give it, what, maybe three episodes before Spencer screws it up for Heidi again? Actually, how many episodes until the finale? Yeah, I think that's about right.

The computer lab at FIDM is so futuristic! The computers sit on little floating tables perched on plastic beach chairs!

Over at the girls' place, Holly, Lauren and Lo dish about the terrible situation that Spencer has caused between Holly and Heidi. Lauren sticks up for Heidi because she knows first-hand that he's the one pulling the strings. Remember when Heidi thought that she and Lauren were possibly going to be friends again? Guess again, honey, Spencer would probably kill you first. Are they still selling those "I blame Spencer" t-shirts at gofugyourself?

Spencer is a tool. Direct quote, "To be honest, I'm really glad that you got your job back because now you won't be mopin' around here anymore." He is the worst person in the world. For once, Heidi actually seems annoyed at something he said, but she doesn't do anything about it. Grow a pair, Heidi!!!! She-Pratt arrives to break the news that Holly is crashing with Lauren and here comes the drama. I can't even bring myself to type the nonsense that spills out of Spencer's mouth, but just know that he's an idiot and tries to blame Heidi's Mom, Lauren, Holly AND Heidi before acknowledging that he could possibly be the problem. And when Heidi yells, "Maybe you're the problem!" it is sweet vindication. Finally, she said it. Finally!

Audrina and JBob head to dinner and afterward he pretends to find a mysterious present for Audrina under the table...and I will admit that it's kind of adorable. I know, I hate myself for thinking that. He gets her a t-shirt that she liked (went back and got it after they were at a shop together, which is even more adorable) and she's thrilled about it. He admits he can be good when he wants to be. Oh, JBob, you lovable rogue! Look at that smile!

That's it. The episode's over. Pretty lame. I guess some stuff happened, but it wasn't all that great. Next week: Audrina hears that Lauren hooks up with JBob! I remember hearing about this a while back and thinking, "There's no way in hell that's true!" But looks like Audrina may believe the rumors. And it looks like they get in a pretty nasty fight. Finally, some good drama! They don't pay me to recap crappy episodes like this! Ummm...yeah, they don't pay me at all, actually, so whatever.