What is up with your face?

This episode is titled, "Back to New York," and it's mostly about Whitney so maybe it will be semi-interesting.

We start off at People's Revolution - Kelly Cutrone has requested that Lauren and Whit head to NYC to help with a busy fashion show. The girls are pumped and Whitney admits that her and that model dude from NYC have texted a little bit since she met him. Ohhh, how romantical!

This reminds me to ask if anyone is going to watch Whitney's new spin off, "The City," when it starts? I love Whit, but it looks boring. Not like this crap is so riveting, though. But I think that someone else needs to do recaps. Who's up for it?!

Anywhoodle, the girls arrive in NYC where Kelly is bitching everyone up and immediately she asks them, "Where's your black?" As in, if you aren't wearing black clothes, you are fired. But not really...I'm sure it was just a warning. They are working a men's fashion week runway show tonight and Whit's "boy" is in it!

Oh god, this next scene is so uncomfortable I can barely bring myself to type about it. I'll make it brief, as in the only thing the models were wearing while the girls tried not to to giggle right in their faces! So awkward! Lauren crushes on some dude from TX who is really cute, although kinda odd. And Whit runs into her "boy" and watches him strip down. Uh, yeah, like I said, AWKWARD!

Back in LA, jobless Heidi pouts while applying a pound of makeup and Spencer is all, Why are you upset? Being unemployed is working out great for me! And Heidi is not amused at all by his comments. She is clearly really annoyed with herself and Spencer for letting things happen that night the way they did. And let this be a lesson to you all, idiocy is no way to get ahead in life.

Catwalk time! Ewww, weird...the boys look all gross with some weird bronzer applied to their cheekbones to make them look tan? stupid? either one, really. The TX model invites the girls to a party after the show. The girls seem excited, and Whit's "boy" looks very stalker-y. He'll probably go with them and lurch in the background or something.

At the party Whit is enthralled with the musician who's on stage, and it turns out that he's TX model's BFF and roommie! Ah-ha! A little double date action, perhaps? Ah, no...it would seem that TX model has a girlfriend, and so all his flirting was apparently just for show. That's stupid. But Whit could care less because she can't even blink long enough to stop staring at this guy on stage. Uh oh, "boy" has arrived! He's trying to get Whit to pay attention to him, but she blows him off because she is clearly way more interested in the music man. When music man is done with his show, he heads down to where his friends are and meets the Whit and Lauren and they act like school girls with huge crushes and stare at him with mouths agape like they've never seen someone so hot. I mean, he's cute, but a little too grungy for my taste.

Over in LA, Speidi go out to "celebrate" Heidi's first night off in forever and they run into Brent Bolthouse! What a coincidence! This stuff almost never happens in real life, but it always works out for MTV! They are so lucky! Spencer acts like he has to use the restroom so that he can go over and talk to Brent. He tries to apologize (legitimately) and BB is like, "Uh, I don't think we should be having this conversation. I don't even know you. It's making me a little uncomfortable." What?! Geez, Brent is a total wimp. I think he almost called his bodyguard on SPENCER PRATT. Wow. Anyway, I don't think Spencer did Heidi any favors with his little apology. And now they're banned from all SBE events. Whoops!

OMG. Whitney and the music man are totally hitting it off! She bought him a shot (!) and they are flirting and he invites her out afterward. Oh, Whitney, you tramp! Just kidding, she's being pretty silly about it. She goes over to Lauren and pretty much recreates the entire conversation that they just had and Lauren is the one encouraging her to be forward with him. "Boy" is visibly annoyed.

Well, well, well...back in LA Heidi decides it's her turn to make Brent feel uncomfortable and this time it's Brent who does all the talking. He lectures her about how "you are the company you keep" and how Spencer "is bad news" and says all the things that we wish everyone else on this damn TV show would yell in Heidi's face! And it doesn't seem to register with her. Surprise. Then she grovels for a job at Bolthouse, but he's not feelin' it so much. Shocker.

In NYC (the club they're at is called Il Bastardo), Whitney and the music man (did I mention he's Australian? Accents!!) are really hitting it off. "Boy" comes over and asks that Whit come over and talk to him for a minute and she says OK and then ends up leaving right away with the music man! Holy crap! Whit is taking the train to STD city!! Where's Lauren, btw? Whit just left her there! Yikes. And one of "boy's" friends has to explain to him that he just got served. He didn't even realize - or want to admit it - and that makes him even more lame. Looks like Whit has already burned bridges in The City! Way to go!

Next time: Holly moves in with Lauren, Heidi comes crawling back to Bolthouse begging for a job back, Speidi fight over their increasingly back familiar relationships and J.Bob's toothbrush moves into Audrina's fancy new bathroom. Ooohhh!