The Hills meets Walker, Texas Ranger

So close to the season finale! All the drama building to one, pathetically lame climax in two weeks! OMG! Let's break down this episode:

Time for Spencer to get his act together. Heidi's REAL dad is coming to town and he's never met a boyfriend before. But, he's seen The Hills, right? I mean, he's "met" Spencer like we've all "met" Spencer. What else does he need to know? Also, Heidi's dad is a cowboy and will probably bring his gun to LA. Um, yes. I really like where this is going.

Audrina is getting more involved in her work, which means that she flirts with dudes in bands and gives the Evil Eye to girls in the music video. This week she's working with a band called The White Tie Affair, which is definitely not as cool a name as Parachute Knapsack, or whatever the ridiculous name of that previous band was a couple seasons ago. Also, Audrina has a crush on the lead singer and She-Pratt had a thing with one of the band members the last time they were in town. I don't see how this could go wrong!

HEIDI'S DAD TIME!! He's wearing a cowboy hat!! He's got steely blue eyes and he's a man of few words. He does start referring to a "Code of the West," which might involve shooting rabbits and other innocent creatures. I hope Spencer doesn't get caught in the crossfire.

Instead of goin' huntin', Spencer and Heidi's dad go walking at Venice Beach and Spencer asks Heidi's dad for permission to marry her. Despite the initial promise I thought her dad had, he agrees. He only mentions his Colt 45 twice. TWICE! C'mon, Bill! This wedding is going to happen and you aren't doing anything to stop it!

Time for Lauren to grow a pair and fire She-Pratt! Wow, She-Pratt is going to go ahead and CRY in the middle of the office. Yikes. Embarrassing for Lauren! Lauren made up some stupid reason about Kelly not having time to train a new person right now. To give you an idea of how lame that reason was, She-Pratt didn't even believe her when she said it.

So, in the wake of She-Pratt being FIRED FROM HER INTERNSHIP (seriously, does that even happen?!), she goes crying to Heidi and whines about how Lauren fired her. There was a tiny glimmer of "I told you so" in Heidi's eyes when she heard those words.

On the other side of town, Lauren tells Lo how She-Pratt cried during the firing. Lo has no pity and tells Lauren that she did what needed to be done. Geez, we got another Kelly Cutrone in training!

It's the big moment for Speidi! The third or fourth proposal! I've lost count at this point. Spencer rents a ferris wheel and when they get to the top it stops. Heidi is so scared by this that she yells, "Oh, Spency!" SPENCY! Haha! This whole season has been worth it just to hear that nickname. Anyway, Spencer tells Heidi that he asked her dad for permission to marry her. Heidi's surprised and tells Spencer that getting married is a bad idea. And that he'd have to make amends with Lauren AND Darlene (Heidi's mom) and give her a huge, princess wedding before she would even consider it. So, he makes up some crap about pretending to do those things and then drops some bling on her to make her forget about all that other stuff. The ring is huge, from what I can tell. It looks to be a yellow diamond, but it's tough to say since it's dark. Heidi is all smiles and they share an awkward kiss and that's that. The wedding is ON. And supposedly it's in two weeks on the season finale. That's some quick planning!

What's next: Will Heidi and Spencer ever get off that ferris wheel? Will She-Pratt and Lauren make up? Will someone please tell Justin Bobby to crash the wedding in those ridiculous black and white socks he was wearing last week?