It's really real this time!

Well, this is it. The last episode featuring Lauren Conrad. Personally, I'm bummed about the switch to Kristen Cavalarri, because it sounds like it's going to be SO fake that even I won't be able to enjoy the guilty pleasure of it anymore. I'm debating whether or not I'll be back to blog the next season. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. First we have to say goodbye to Lauren and watch the Speidi wedding train wreck.

We begin with Lauren and Lo dishing about their final house party. They're moving out, but neither will say what's next. Lauren doesn't seem to know what she'll be doing, but she's moving out and that's that! They decide that everyone needs to come over one last time to say goodbye to the house.

Heidi is busying planning her princess wedding and she drops the bomb on She-Pratt that she's going to ask Holly to be her Maid of Honor. She-Pratt is pissed! On the other side of town, Spencer and Heidi's mom, Darlene, are out on a nice lunch date. It's a tad awkward to say the least, but Spencer starts in with apologizing pretty quick. Darlene is skeptical, with good reason, but Spencer tells her he's been going to therapy and that he's really changed. She caves and gives him her blessing. You can almost see the evil creeping through his eyes when he hears her say it. I think it's all an act!

Time for Heidi to get wild and crazy at her bachelorette party! Or...not. It's super tame and just a bunch of girls getting together to take quizzes and watch the bride open presents. Holly arrives 30 minutes late and then doesn't even write down the gifts that people got Heidi. Gasp! She-Pratt is livid that she isn't living up to her MOH duties.

Hey! It's Broday! Pulling double-duty...first, he has dinner with Lauren to try and convince her to go to the wedding. Then, he meets up with Spencer to hear how much Spencer has changed. I will admit, I am starting to believe Spencer has changed. He seems so different now, so aware of how much of a d-bag he used to be. Broday doesn't buy it for 2 seconds. He knew Spencer really well back in the day and I have to say that he might be right about this. Spencer is an evil little weasel, and this whole apology act might be his greatest fake-out ever.

Time for Lauren to end her stint at People's Revolution. Kelly Cutrone may be one of my favorite people to appear on The Hills. She is ballsy and blunt and doesn't take any sh**, but at the same time, when Lauren asked her for advice, she was well-spoken and knowledgeable and genuinely nice. I think Kelly got a bad rap, but I also doubt that she's gives a crap what other people think about her. SO, onward and upward, Lauren. With Kelly's blessing, you are free to conquer the fashion world!

Time to get this marriage started! It's rehearsal dinner time! They dine at Cut, the restaurant owned by Wolfgang Puck, that feature huge photos of Speidi (lame). Everything seems to be going fine, until Holly gives her toast. It's terrible. She makes up some crap about Heidi praying for a perfect "love match" out in the woods with sticks and berries. I wish I were making this up. I think Holly is either drunk or stupid or both. Strangely, I never thought Holly was that bad before all this wedding stuff, but she's acting like a jerk. She throws food at her brother and gets something on Heidi's new purse. Still, everything's relaxed and Heidi's not upset. But after Holly leaves the table to talk with her mom about how she wants to leave the dinner, Heidi gets nervous and asks Spencer to check on them. A little bit of the old Spencer comes out when he calls Holly out for being immature and throwing food at 25 years old. And Holly comes back by saying that it wasn't rude and Darlene agrees (!) and Spencer (understandably) doesn't get what planet these two are living on and decides he should leave before he gets really mad. Another sign of the new Spencer coming through? Holly tries to leave, but Darlene won't let her and when Spencer comes back to the table without them, Heidi is even more confused.

The next day Holly sees the error of her ways (she must have been drunk) and apologizes to Heidi while they get manicures. She even offers to relinquish her MOH title to She-Pratt but Heidi won't let her. They're sisters, after all! All is well.

More goodbyes at Lauren and Lo's party. It's a small group of the usual suspects, but I think I saw Doug there, which is surprising, because I haven't seen him without Paris Hilton in months. Lauren gives a pretty lame toast and then everyone goes on being lame. She-Pratt makes one final attempt at getting Lauren to come to the wedding, but she still won't budge.

Even if Lauren won't be there, the show must go on! Let me give you a few guest highlights: Brent Bolthouse and Heidi's Work Friend, Broday and his trashy gf Jayde, Audrina, Lo, STACIE THE BARTENDER (OMG, she's with Spencers friend!), Justin Bobby (yes!), and duh-da--da-daaahh LAUREN! Of course, she's a sneaky one and just heads right back to the bride's room and says hello to her there. It's a very special moment as everyone in the room is shocked to see her and Heidi especially is moved almost to tears.

All the while guests continue to come in including Kristen Cavalarri! Oooh, such drama. Maybe no one knew that she was going to be the "new Lauren" at the time of the wedding, because everyone's totally surprised to see her there.

And after Lauren and Heidi share a tender moment, Lauren heads into the church to take her seat. Lo immediately tells her that Kristen Cavalarri is there. Am I missing something? Are they still fighting? I thought all that crap about Stephen was long since over. Oh man, I miss those early Laguna Beach days. But anyway, Lauren is surprised and they seem to be totally avoiding eye contact with each other. I don't get it, but OK.

The vows go without a hitch and no one even objects! And this is where it starts to feel incredibly staged. People leave the church and Kristen goes over to talk to Lo and Audrina and asks them to set her up with a new guy (nice setup for next season!). And as Speidi are exiting the church, Lauren slyly exits through the back entrance and gets into a limo. And Heidi decides to throw the bouquet then and there (lame) and guess who catches it! Kristen! How incredible! It's like passing the torch. The totally lame, definitely staged torch. She must be on cloud nine to be so lucky. If this is a hint of things to come, then count me out. I felt like I was watching a sitcom. And not in a good way.

So, that's it. Lauren has moved on. And based on the previews (which I had to watch without sound because MTV was screwed up), things look to be staying full of drama. The tag line of "The bitch is back" is intriguing, but I don't know if I'll get into it. There did look like a potential hook up between Kristen and Justin Bobby, though! We'll see what happens. As for now, it's time to enjoy the summer and reflect on all the lessons The Hills has taught us. And...done! I'm hitting the pool!

An added bonus: Brittnee informed me that Speidi have tried to quit the TV show I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! because it's too hard. Aww, boo-hoo. No, I mean literally, Heidi cries. Yama-hama! Heidi without makeup is SCARY! Have a great summer everyone!