Happy Thanksgiving

Brant and I are hosting our first Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm pretty pleased with my table. It's simple, but then again, that's what I like about it. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!

I don't believe this

First off, it has to be said: I hope Heidi and Spencer are happy living the rest of their married lives together. Away from me. In a far away distant land with no paparazzi and fake photo ops. You know, just whatever. I don't even care about them. I hereby announce that for this post - and all future posts - that I will only devote one sentence to Speidi. So, let's begin!

A few months back the "scandalous" news of a Lauren and JBob hookup hit the gossip rags and it took everyone about half a second to realize that it was false. Why? Because we have eyes/noses and can see/smell why Lauren would never EVER want to hookup with JBob. He's disgusting. I mean, sure, he's made some changes. He's living a zen lifestyle and he's sober (maybe) and I think he's up to showering like 2 times a week, but still. It's just not happening. Too bad it took Audrina all episode and two ruined friendships to figure that out.

Not only did she ask Lauren and JBob repeatedly if they hooked up, but she didn't believe them when they told her no. Apparently a friend of Audrina's (Dino) told her that it happened, but it has been speculated that Audrina started the rumor herself to get more press. That would explain why she milked this rumor thing for the whole episode even when both parties involved vehemently denied the allegations. Uh, check that last sentence out. I could basically be a lawyer. I object!

In order to build her case (legal term), Audrina texted around a million people and told them the news. Such character witnesses as Broday, Frankie and She-Pratt! Oh yeah, that lineup will add credibility to your case. Overruled!

In addition to accusing both JBob and Lauren via phone calls and text messages, she also pays each one a face-to-face visit. Lauren's visit doesn't go well. Audrina's tone is very accusatory and she doesn't appreciate it. Then Lauren becomes a hostile witness (legal term) and Audrina storms out. OK, let's take a 30 minute recess. Geez, this lawyer stuff is hard.

Heidi has to work in a cubicle now! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!




Audrina's visit with JBob comes after she's sent him around 50 voicemails and texts and he finally meets up with her at a bar and agrees to plead his case. And we get to hear some evidence of her previous voicemails and it seems as if Audrina got a little mean on the phone. He's hurt by how she spoke to him. Obviously she was upset by the news, but what ever happened to innocent until proven guilty, Audrina? Did you even go to law school?!

So, now it seems that Audrina has lost both her best friend and her boyfriend. How will she get them back? She seems to feel that a meeting at a nightclub with Lauren could be the next step. And it might have worked...if she didn't ask Lauren AGAIN if the rumor was true or not!! Seriously. OK, and here is where things get messy. Lauren tells Audrina that she would never hook up with JBob because she thinks he is disgusting. I think her exact words were, "I would rather kill myself than hook up with him." Yikes. I was afraid that would happen. Clearly, Audrina is living in some kind of screwed up world where people like JBob are physically attractive to her, but I was not sure how she would respond to the news that others are repulsed by his presence. And now we find out, and it's not good. She gets defensive and lashes out at Lauren and tries to blame this whole thing on her. That's when Lauren says that Audrina is "way worse than Heidi." Ouch! Order in the court!

The way things are left after this episode makes me wonder how much more we'll be seeing of ol' Audrina. Oh well, good luck on the bar exam...you're gonna need it!

Next time: Nana Pratt visits! Maybe she can talk some sense into stupid Spencer. And Audrina attempts to rebuild her friendship with Lauren...again.

So I guess Heidi and LC aren't going to be friends again...

In the words of Julie Mannon, "I guess Hell froze over."

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20242463,00.html

The worst person in the world. Easy.

Tonight's episode opens with Lauren asking Whitney about her music man friend and Whitney says they have been in touch and, oh wait...that's right, this show is about Lauren and she interrupts her immediately and blurts out that Holly is staying with her since Heidi kicked her out. Phew! Cuz I was almost confused about whether I was watching The Hills or The City. Thanks for clarifying, LC. Anyway, Holly's staying with Lauren and I'm sure that Speidi are going to be mad. Let the drama ensue.

Audrina and JBob venture to his world, Venice Beach (aka land of the freaks). They plan a vaca to Mexico and sit on the beach. JBob gets very zen like and makes it an excuse for why he doesn't like to stay at Audrina's place.

Over at Speidi's house Spencer finds Heidi going through her ridonkulous wardrobe. She is trying to stay busy and since Spencer spends all day playing arcade games, he's unaware of the concept. They start to argue about how Spencer got Heidi fired and how "that wasn't the only thing he did." Heidi apparently doesn't know where Holly is? Really? Like she seriously kicked her out and that was it? Yikes. And Spencer makes some dumb comment about how he is so sad that he doesn't get to see Holly anymore. And see, that is the thing: how can she be with someone like that? I don't care who you are (Heidi or not), if someone says something like that about someone that you care about - friends, family, whatever - then that's it. You're done. Why even bother dealing with someone like that? In the oh-so-wise words of Mr. Brent Bolthouse, "You are the company you keep, Heidi." Think about it!

Party time with Lauren and Audrina! That was lame city. They just sat at the bar and didn't talk about anything interesting. Losers.

Horse-face sister is over at Audrina's place, which is already fully decorated. Horsey starts to question whether or not JBob is a good guy for only seeing Audrina when it's convenient for him. Hey listen, long-face, you have been on this show for like 3 minutes, so I don't really understand how you think you can skip past the blank stare phase of your contract and move right into the asking scripted questions portion. You aren't getting any more money, if that's what you're after. The economy just can't handle it right now.

Time for Heidi to beg for her job back! After some pretty mediocre grovelling Sam agrees to give her a temporary position because they are opening a new hotel. I don't know what she'll be doing exactly and they don't get into it because Sam basically pushes her out the door. Oh, but he does say that Spencer isn't welcome at any of his hotels or clubs or even streets that he's walking on. The kid sucks and Sam knows it and now he's blacklisted - booyah! So, I give it, what, maybe three episodes before Spencer screws it up for Heidi again? Actually, how many episodes until the finale? Yeah, I think that's about right.

The computer lab at FIDM is so futuristic! The computers sit on little floating tables perched on plastic beach chairs!

Over at the girls' place, Holly, Lauren and Lo dish about the terrible situation that Spencer has caused between Holly and Heidi. Lauren sticks up for Heidi because she knows first-hand that he's the one pulling the strings. Remember when Heidi thought that she and Lauren were possibly going to be friends again? Guess again, honey, Spencer would probably kill you first. Are they still selling those "I blame Spencer" t-shirts at gofugyourself?

Spencer is a tool. Direct quote, "To be honest, I'm really glad that you got your job back because now you won't be mopin' around here anymore." He is the worst person in the world. For once, Heidi actually seems annoyed at something he said, but she doesn't do anything about it. Grow a pair, Heidi!!!! She-Pratt arrives to break the news that Holly is crashing with Lauren and here comes the drama. I can't even bring myself to type the nonsense that spills out of Spencer's mouth, but just know that he's an idiot and tries to blame Heidi's Mom, Lauren, Holly AND Heidi before acknowledging that he could possibly be the problem. And when Heidi yells, "Maybe you're the problem!" it is sweet vindication. Finally, she said it. Finally!

Audrina and JBob head to dinner and afterward he pretends to find a mysterious present for Audrina under the table...and I will admit that it's kind of adorable. I know, I hate myself for thinking that. He gets her a t-shirt that she liked (went back and got it after they were at a shop together, which is even more adorable) and she's thrilled about it. He admits he can be good when he wants to be. Oh, JBob, you lovable rogue! Look at that smile!

That's it. The episode's over. Pretty lame. I guess some stuff happened, but it wasn't all that great. Next week: Audrina hears that Lauren hooks up with JBob! I remember hearing about this a while back and thinking, "There's no way in hell that's true!" But looks like Audrina may believe the rumors. And it looks like they get in a pretty nasty fight. Finally, some good drama! They don't pay me to recap crappy episodes like this! Ummm...yeah, they don't pay me at all, actually, so whatever.

What is up with your face?

This episode is titled, "Back to New York," and it's mostly about Whitney so maybe it will be semi-interesting.

We start off at People's Revolution - Kelly Cutrone has requested that Lauren and Whit head to NYC to help with a busy fashion show. The girls are pumped and Whitney admits that her and that model dude from NYC have texted a little bit since she met him. Ohhh, how romantical!

This reminds me to ask if anyone is going to watch Whitney's new spin off, "The City," when it starts? I love Whit, but it looks boring. Not like this crap is so riveting, though. But I think that someone else needs to do recaps. Who's up for it?!

Anywhoodle, the girls arrive in NYC where Kelly is bitching everyone up and immediately she asks them, "Where's your black?" As in, if you aren't wearing black clothes, you are fired. But not really...I'm sure it was just a warning. They are working a men's fashion week runway show tonight and Whit's "boy" is in it!

Oh god, this next scene is so uncomfortable I can barely bring myself to type about it. I'll make it brief, as in the only thing the models were wearing while the girls tried not to to giggle right in their faces! So awkward! Lauren crushes on some dude from TX who is really cute, although kinda odd. And Whit runs into her "boy" and watches him strip down. Uh, yeah, like I said, AWKWARD!

Back in LA, jobless Heidi pouts while applying a pound of makeup and Spencer is all, Why are you upset? Being unemployed is working out great for me! And Heidi is not amused at all by his comments. She is clearly really annoyed with herself and Spencer for letting things happen that night the way they did. And let this be a lesson to you all, idiocy is no way to get ahead in life.

Catwalk time! Ewww, weird...the boys look all gross with some weird bronzer applied to their cheekbones to make them look tan? stupid? either one, really. The TX model invites the girls to a party after the show. The girls seem excited, and Whit's "boy" looks very stalker-y. He'll probably go with them and lurch in the background or something.

At the party Whit is enthralled with the musician who's on stage, and it turns out that he's TX model's BFF and roommie! Ah-ha! A little double date action, perhaps? Ah, no...it would seem that TX model has a girlfriend, and so all his flirting was apparently just for show. That's stupid. But Whit could care less because she can't even blink long enough to stop staring at this guy on stage. Uh oh, "boy" has arrived! He's trying to get Whit to pay attention to him, but she blows him off because she is clearly way more interested in the music man. When music man is done with his show, he heads down to where his friends are and meets the Whit and Lauren and they act like school girls with huge crushes and stare at him with mouths agape like they've never seen someone so hot. I mean, he's cute, but a little too grungy for my taste.

Over in LA, Speidi go out to "celebrate" Heidi's first night off in forever and they run into Brent Bolthouse! What a coincidence! This stuff almost never happens in real life, but it always works out for MTV! They are so lucky! Spencer acts like he has to use the restroom so that he can go over and talk to Brent. He tries to apologize (legitimately) and BB is like, "Uh, I don't think we should be having this conversation. I don't even know you. It's making me a little uncomfortable." What?! Geez, Brent is a total wimp. I think he almost called his bodyguard on SPENCER PRATT. Wow. Anyway, I don't think Spencer did Heidi any favors with his little apology. And now they're banned from all SBE events. Whoops!

OMG. Whitney and the music man are totally hitting it off! She bought him a shot (!) and they are flirting and he invites her out afterward. Oh, Whitney, you tramp! Just kidding, she's being pretty silly about it. She goes over to Lauren and pretty much recreates the entire conversation that they just had and Lauren is the one encouraging her to be forward with him. "Boy" is visibly annoyed.

Well, well, well...back in LA Heidi decides it's her turn to make Brent feel uncomfortable and this time it's Brent who does all the talking. He lectures her about how "you are the company you keep" and how Spencer "is bad news" and says all the things that we wish everyone else on this damn TV show would yell in Heidi's face! And it doesn't seem to register with her. Surprise. Then she grovels for a job at Bolthouse, but he's not feelin' it so much. Shocker.

In NYC (the club they're at is called Il Bastardo), Whitney and the music man (did I mention he's Australian? Accents!!) are really hitting it off. "Boy" comes over and asks that Whit come over and talk to him for a minute and she says OK and then ends up leaving right away with the music man! Holy crap! Whit is taking the train to STD city!! Where's Lauren, btw? Whit just left her there! Yikes. And one of "boy's" friends has to explain to him that he just got served. He didn't even realize - or want to admit it - and that makes him even more lame. Looks like Whit has already burned bridges in The City! Way to go!

Next time: Holly moves in with Lauren, Heidi comes crawling back to Bolthouse begging for a job back, Speidi fight over their increasingly back familiar relationships and J.Bob's toothbrush moves into Audrina's fancy new bathroom. Ooohhh!

"A man so great he needed two names"

Cursed Lauren gets the news that Audrina is moving out! At the end of the week! Geez, that was fast. Lauren looks a little dejected and I can't blame her. She's 0 for 2 as far as roommies are concerned. And no, Lo doesn't count.

Stupid Heidi is doing some work thing. Looks like a big deal grand opening and she decides that adding Spencer, She-Pratt and Audrina to the guest list would be a good idea. This is why Heidi will never be more than an intern or whatever she is at Bolthouse. Not only did she NOT SHOW UP to the last big meeting with the owner, but now she's inviting her stupid boyfriend. I hope she really does get fired.

Whitney and Lauren talk about Audrina moving out for about 20 seconds. That scene was pointless.

Audrina goes out to dinner with J.Bob and basically asks him to move in with her in her new house. His response? "Hmmm...let it just happen and see what happens." And let's let truth and time tell all, Audrina. Don't fight it. In his defense, didn't they just become "official" last week?

We get the first look at Audrina's new house with her tatted-up sister Casey. Casey is a bit of a horse-face and she's rockin' some bright pink lipstick. Not the best. We really don't get to see any room in Audrina's new place except the kitchen, which is really nice. Way too nice for someone who will probably never cook in it. Jerk. But anyway, Audrina says that she wants to decorate "all romantic" with white curtains and candles. Um, that's a fire hazard. And J.Bob with his leather jackets and denim vests is going to look sorely out of place there. But it's her big plan to woo him again. Shhh, don't tell her that it probably won't work.

Lauren and Lo reminisce on the "good times" they had living with Audrina. The best they can come up with is giving Justin Bobby two names. Well, that was pretty special. Way to make time for those memories, ladies.

Over at the big Bolthouse shindig, Heidi assumes that her "work" at the event is over and decides to get a drink. Then Spencer, She-Pratt, Audrina, horse-face and J.Bob show up. They decide to toast the fact that Audrina is moving out as if Lauren is so terrible. Whatever. Heidi's had "three tequilas" and she's wasted. Then the head Bolthouse guy, Sam, comes over and asks if they're still working. BUSTED! Heidi is slurring her speech a little and trying to pretend like she's all serious worker-lady, but the man isn't an idiot. Too bad that Heidi took work friend down with her, though. Let that be a lesson to anyone who wants to be friends with Heidi. She will get you fired.

Oh yes, here comes the good stuff! OK, so first of all, Brent Bolthouse asks Kimberly (aka work friend) to come into his office and he asks if she was drinking last night. She says no, that she never would, out of respect to him. LAME! He's buys it, but then asks if Heidi was drinking and work friend doesn't say yes, but she doesn't say no. She's not going to sell out her friend (kinda). So, Brent asks to see Heidi and she admits to drinking and he's upset by that, but even more so that Spencer was there, because he thinks Spencer's a bad influence on her. And after telling her that he's had her back on several occasions, he says that he's disappointed in her and then he says, "I'm firing you." Oh man, how lame of a firing is that?! Can't you be a man and say "You're fired," Brent (P.S. nice hat)? Heidi takes it like a champ, doesn't cry, gets her bag and leaves. And scene. I can't wait until she breaks the news to Spencer!

It's finally moving day for Audrina! She and Lauren catch up while packing boxes. It's a tender moment. The girls get a little choked up when the moving van pulls away. But this time there's no evil boyfriend masterminding the entire situation, so I'm sure it will be fine. They'll stay friends. Or whatever. Who cares.

I didn't see a preview for next week's episode. How far into the season is it? It feels like this one's been on for 10 years already.