Is this whore-y enough?

On this week's episode of The Hills, the girls crash the boys' weekend in Hawaii. Broday is mad for 4 seconds and then the girls agree to do shots and he's in heaven. I think Doug is on this trip. As in, Doug the guy who dated Lauren to be on The Hills and then moved to She-Pratt to stay on The Hills and then gave up on The Hills and moved to Paris Hilton. THAT Doug. He sucks. And there's also Frankie and Sleazy T and Broday, of course. For the girls there's Lauren, Lo, Audrina and She-Pratt.

Heidi and Spencer are shopping in Barnes and Noble (probably staging a photo shoot in the children's books section!) and Heidi mentions that Colby, her ex-boyfriend from forever ago, is coming to town for a visit. Well, of course he is! Those two haven't seen each other in five years and after one arranged visit in CO (by Heidi's mom!) they are suddenly friends again. Spencer is jealous, obviously, even though anyone could tell that Heidi was so not into Colby when she was forced to eat dinner with him. But Colby goes to Bible college, so I think he could give some great advice to Spencer.

Oooh, it's a double date with Speidi and Colby and his girlfriend. Ha! Looks like Spencer has nothing to worry about! Colby's girlfriend, Ashley, warms up to Heidi right away by telling her that "she looks so different." OMG! This girl is incredibly unaware and I love it! Heidi is pretty surprised because she must have a Don't Talk About My Plastic Surgery Clause written into her contract. Looks like Ashley didn't sign it! They go on to talk about how they are saving themselves for marriage and Spencer's jaw basically hits the floor. He's having a lot of fun messing with them and even invites Colby to go boxing with him the next day. I hope Colby beats the crap out of him.

Over in Hawaii She-Pratt tells Audrina that hooking up with Broday might be a good way to get J-Bob back. She's got a million ideas, folks! Priceless.

Boxing time with Spencer and Colby gives way to more questions from Spencer about how Colby could possibly manage to stay a virgin. Colby informs him that it's not hard and that he prays a lot, but that he's looking forward to a bigger payoff. And that's when he invites Spencer to join his Bible Study that night. Because Colby hosts a Traveling Bible Study? Awesome!

Tensions arise in Hawaii when Audrina admits to having a little crush on Broday. How is this not super weird for Lauren and Audrina?!

At the Traveling Bible Study, where it would seem that Spencer and Heidi both had their own Bibles (!), Spencer asks to see the verse where it forbids sex before marriage. Ashley refers to it as "fornification" and Colby quickly corrects her, "fornication!" Not that he, you know, pays attention to that or anything, gah! Anywhoo, they find the verse that condemns Speidi to hell and then move on. Spencer is saddened by this news, I guess, and decides to text during Bible Study. And let's be honest, even if he and Heidi weren't going to hell before, he'd be well on his way already.

Drama is averted in Hawaii when Broday refuses Audrina's subtle offer to be "more than friends." AKA, he didn't follow her inside the house. Frankie gives him shit for it, but he tells everyone that he's in love with his girlfriend, Jayde. He's a better man than I thought he was, but I'm pretty sure that Jayde sucks.

Oh snap! Nevermind! He just waltzed into the house to talk to Audrina and told her that he thinks she's sweet and that he's glad they've been friends for so long and he doesn't want there to be any hard feelings. BUT...if something were to happen one night, with no one else around, well "feelings are feelings." That's the Broday I know! And it's confirmed the next morning as the girls wake up to discover that Audrina slept over at Broday's place! Good thing "no one else was around" so it can be their little secret!

As the boys and girls dish about what happened between Audrina and Broday, one thing is certain, Jayde is gonna cut a bitch. Audrina, watch your back!