What's that look?

Oh, hey Mandy Moore, how's it going? What's that? You say you secretly married Ryan Adams on Tuesday? Wow. Yeah, that is exciting. Except...what's that look on your face? It doesn't quite look like happiness to me. It looks a wee bit like SHAME. Hmmm.

I just wonder why you decided to get married so quickly and forgo the whole big, elaborate ceremony. Oh, I know Ryan's a little shy, but "secret weddings" often signify something else entirely. Do I need to spell it out for you, Moore?! I am on to your little game here. You read my blog post and decided to prove me wrong just for spite! Well, I've got news for you. I still give it 6 months. Starting from the original post on February 11, 2009. Start counting down to August 11, Mandy.

Either that or you're pregnant.

PS. Nice scarf.

Who would have guessed?

I hate to have to be the one to tell you this...but it looks as if Pam Anderson and current husband Rick Solomon might be getting divorced. I know, I know...I didn't see it coming either, but sometimes you give it all you have and still it doesn't work. These kids tried their best. They dated for about a month and gave marriage a shot for oh, what? about 60 days? Listen, that's twice as long as they dated, so I think it's a miracle it lasted as long as it did.

One thing I can say about ol' Pammy is that she never disappoints. For example, look at all the people disappointed in Jamie Lynn Spears. It's tough, and yet, it's her own fault for pretending to be a good ole girl with a hit show on Nickelodeon who was so much more sane than Britney it was hard to believe they were related. And yet. Oh, how the tables have turned. She set the standards too high and couldn't quite live up to it. On the other hand, we have Pam. First off, Pam's been married like 7 times. And about half of those are to Tommy Lee, because face it, those two are meant to be together. Second, she doesn't have the best taste in men. She likes the skuzzers. She finds them appealing for some odd reason. But what I will say is that I never for one second expected her marriage to last, and at least I'm not disappointed in her!

OK, look, I tried to put a positive spin on it, I really did. I wasn't too keen on the idea of her getting married in the first place and now this is just the icing on the cake. I told you so, Pam! Oh, and for the gamblers out there, my money's on Tommy Lee for the next go-round!

Who WON'T she marry?

Good ol' Pam Anderson got married again last weekend. This time to Rick Salomon, the co-star of Paris Hilton's old sex tape. This couple's marriage is basically doomed to fail. Let's recap! Pam's been married to and then divorced by both Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Uh-huh. Not exactly shining stars in the role model department. Salomon was once married to Shannen Doherty. Um, yikes! This guy is all kinds of crazy if he married Brenda from 90210! And that diagnosis is confirmed with his latest marriage to Pammy.

I'm all for finding love again after failed attempts. But why the marriage business? Those two are making a mockery of it. You don't have to rush out to the courthouse and make it official every time you love someone. It's not a spur of the moment decision, like, "hey wanna order some takeout?" But I bet Pam and Rick's marriage proposal went down a little something like this:

Pam: My new movie is so good!

Rick: That's awesome, Pam! I can't wait to see it!

Pam: I know, I think the could be Oscar buzz...fingers crossed!

Rick: Awww, you're just adorable. We should get married!

Pam: Ohmygosh! We totally should! I LOVE marriage! It's so fun and easy and quick! I think I have the courthouse on my speed dial! I'll call right now and make an appointment! Oh, we're going to be so happy together, Rich!

Rick: It's Rick.

True love is a splendid thing. Congrats to Pam and Rich!