Season 4. It's here. Can you handle this?! I'm gonna recap the hell out of it! Let's go.Yay! It's Whitney! A birthday party's in the works for Audrina! AND Lauren has a date with an old prom date! LAME! But at least she's getting out of her dating "slump" - Whitney's word. As if Whit's an expert. Season 4 starts off with a bang!
Heidi's sister is coming in to town and she's going to find out that she and Spencer are shacking up! Uh-oh. Wait, why wouldn't Heidi want to tell everyone that her and Spencer are back together? Oh, is it because that her family hates Spencer? I suppose that could have something to do with it.
Audrina is apparently not really friends with Lauren anymore since she told her work friend ("Bangs") that she was surprised that Lauren would want to throw her a party. But Lauren seems to think that everything is fine - or she wouldn't have just told Whitney about a super fun party she was going to throw for "one of her best friends."
AAHH!! More Montag spawn! Ouch, Holly looks like Heidi before the surgery. Spencer "Chester Cheetah" is currently busy playing video games and won't bother talking to Holly at all. What a jerk-face. THEN! He acts all put-out because he and Heidi are "just putting things back together." Hmmm...maybe if you actually try and be nice to her family, that would be a step in the right direction? No? Too logical? OK, my bad. Oh, and the beard is looking great. (What? He obviously does the exact opposite of everything I think he should do. I'll show him!)
Lauren's date night! My favorite part of the "getting-ready" segment was when Lauren asked Lo if she would ask her out on a second date (as in, if they were the ones going on a date) and Lo goes, "I dunno." Tough one, Lo, looks like things just got a little too real.
As for the date, all you need to know is that there was a lot of staring and stimulating conversation such as, "I think your drink says a lot about you." "What does a beer say about me?" "That you're a guys-guy." (And Lauren ordered a Fuzzy Dragon, so what the hell does that say about her?!) Plus, Doug asked her out again about 20 minutes into their first date. Slow down, buddy! She fell for it so we'll see you at the birthday party!
Spencer is awakened at NOON by the Sisters Montag, he decides to bitch-up Heidi and Holly for making him breakfast. I think you found a keeper, Heidi!
It's party time and speaking of bitching-up, Lo is not being very friendly to Audrina. In Lo's defense, Audrina did invite some Sketchy McSketchersons to the party. But Lo has to learn to smile and say something nice and then talk sh*t about her later with Lauren. Gosh, get a clue!
Oh boy, it's LA makeover time for Holly. Bleach blonde highlights are OK, but don't go getting duck lips!
JUSTIN BOBBY! In a leather jacket. At a pool party. In LA. I think that's the best birthday present Audrina could ever receive. And that's probably for the best, because Lo isn't getting her anything. She didn't even hang out at the party at all.
Holly leaves after hanging out in LA for about 5 minutes. Spencer is a total jerk when she leaves. Holly hints at possibly moving out to LA and when Heidi offers to let her stay at their apt. Spencer loses it. After Holly drives away (in a cab - can't drive a sister to the airport, Heidi?) she blows up at her for offering to help her sister. How quickly he forgets that he crashed on HIS sister's couch for several months. Playing video games. All. Day. Long.
Lo attempts to make nice with Audrina but after about 5 minutes of back and forth trying to figure out why they still aren't close, Lo says that she feels like she's putting forth effort and that Audrina isn't giving anything back. Audrina lets Lo know that she just doesn't care if they are never friends. Whoa. Harsh. Lo is visibly shaken up by these harsh words and gets up to leave the beach house. Bring on the bitchiness! If you thought Lo was bitchy before, just you WAIT, girlfriend. Just wait.
Lauren talks to Whitney to close out the episode. I like how Lauren's conversations with Whitney bookend the show. Whitney's advice is like a pearl of wisdom. She gives Lauren something to ponder during the show and then they wrap up that lesson at the end of the show. Tonight's lesson: This show is ridiculous.
Coming up this season, more drama, more staring, more backstabbing! Bring it on!
2 comments:
Kudos on the Cliff's Notes version of the S4 opener, Jenny. I've been looking forward to reading this all day!
I know you "Stop Yelling at Me" girls are all spread out across the land... but you're all cordially invited to a Hills watch party at Chez Jules some Monday night. While you’re mingling outside with your obligatory disposable party cups, I will most likely be holed-up inside, playing with a new pet instead of interacting with you... but something tells me you'll appreciate the whole "life imitates art" aspect of it. Feel free to invite as many unseemly characters (in leather, Lakers jerseys or pink Mohawks) as you wish… I will snub them, too. And don't act all surprised if I come to you later, pointing out that I’ve really been trying and I don’t understand why we aren’t connecting.
Ah, yes. The Hills are alive with the sound of whining and it's a symphony for the ears... and the eyes (well, except for the new prickly-pear on Spencer's chin). Now, let’s all pretend we’re hanging clothes on a rack and whine some more.
I can't wait for this party!
Post a Comment