She's totally about to laugh in his face

Time for Whitney to set up the episode - she's off to NYC and looks like Lauren is over Doug. There aren't any sparks so Lauren's gonna dump his ass. Looks like Doug's 15 minutes are O-V-E-R!

Lauren meets up with She-Pratt at FIDM and they are going to try and make it work. Why? I have NO idea!

Whit has arrived in NYC! Already Kelly has asked her why she's late and told her to go upstairs and help with the casting. The MALE model casting. Whitney is literally not looking anyone in the eye. She's so scared of the guys! Kelly takes over and asks a guy to go out with them later that night. Whitney turns beet red at the prospect of a date.

Spiedi head to lunch at Cut in LA. I guess it's a nice place, but any place that will let Speidi in is obviously trash-tastic. Their whole interaction is basically Spencer whining that they're never alone and Heidi telling him that she misses She-Pratt. Hmmm, looks as if they aren't so much on the same page? But the BEST is when Spencer LOOKS AT HIS WATCH and says, "Time to get in bed and cuddle my dear!" and then takes a HUGE drink of wine. Is he kidding? The sad part is, I really don't know. Heidi looks SO excited!

Lauren meets up with Broday (he might as well change it permanently) for sushi. She's running late...probably because she had to squeeze herself into those LEATHER LEGGINGS (no photo to be found - damn!). Lauren. What. The. Hell. They talk about Doug not being the right guy for Lauren and how Broday IS the right guy for Lauren. Just start dating again, already.

Back in NYC Whit meets the male model for drinks and, lo and behold!, Kelly and "everyone else" cancels. That sneaky little minx! She had it planned all along, that Kelly Cutrone! Working for the devil has some perks, at least. Whit and the model have a decent date, they walk around the city and talk about NYC vs. LA and then they have a nice goodbye at Whit's hotel. If it wasn't already official, Whitney is the most normal person on this show.

Whit's back in LA she gives Lauren the run-down of her "total date-style" encounter with the male model (I didn't catch his name, is the reason I keep calling him that). I can tell they had a good time, but Whitney immediately puts the focus back on Lauren (that's a good little supporting cast-member!) and asks her about Doug and Lauren makes this face:

Obviously can't wait to see him. She's going to break up with him later.

Over in Speidiwood, She-Pratt is attempting (God only knows why) to heal her relationship with Spencer by buying him gifts. I just threw up. When Spencer decides he doesn't want to be in your life, you thank your lucky stars and head in the opposite direction! But alas, she has bought him "The Secret History of the CIA" (uh, what??) to win him back. Spencer accepts the gift but won't say anything more than one-word answers to She-Pratt's questions. And that's that. Run, woman, run while you can!

Time to break Doug's heart. Time for Lauren to tell him that he sucks and she hates him. It's breakup time! Doug gets a little defensive when Lauren says that "it's just not there." And after a little bit of back and forth about how her crush didn't turn into anything more, they are back to being just friends. That was lame. Why am I surprised?

Next week: They head BACK to Vegas! Hopefully no one will flash their "Britney" like last year! Here's what's up: it's on Sunday, after the VMAs (yes, I will watch them, I'm an addict), so set your DVRs to record! Audrina and Justin Bobby form a team against the rest of the gang. Broday makes She-Pratt cry and then winds up in jail (for different reasons...I think) with Doug. Yowza!