Are you kidding me with this?

Cabo! On Doug's private jet no less. They all suck. Doug's wearing a v-neck tank top and looks like an idiot...there, that's basically enough to set the scene. Oh, and Justin and Audrina are both in Cabo which might lead to some awkwardness!

Mmmm, the beach. I need a vacation. These jerks are acting like they've never been to the beach before. Audrina and Lauren are frolicking out in the sand. Uh, you live in LA! Can't you take a scooter to the beach every day? Whatever. The boys are gossiping about Audrina's boyfriend, Cory, in the hot tub. Frankie is a total blabbermouth. Pretty sure he wasn't supposed to mention the word "boyfriend" to J.Bob. Great, there goes the weekend!

Back in the real world (ha!) Heidi and She-Pratt go shopping. S-P is wearing knee high BLACK socks and Chuck Taylor's. Taking fashion advice from Heidi, it seems. She starts bragging about how she has a new boyfriend and that none of her other friends are in town. So Heidi invites them over for a double date! Perfect!

Cabo: Audrina and Justin sit next to each other at dinner and it's a little weird. They aren't together, but they're sort of there together, and anyway, Justin is probably going to hook up with someone else. In bromance news, Frankie makes a birthday toast to Broday and he almost cries. Then they all do shots. Ugh. OK, and I have TWO tank top sightings. Not cool Doug and Broday. I think that's all Doug wears (see photo above).

Doug's present to Broday is less femme - a hoarde of single girls. They parade down to the dinner table and then off to the beach. Then Lauren and Audrina (who had previously been the only 2 girls) act like they're superior and try and sort out the J.Bob dilemma. Uh, he's a loser? Cased closed. Now I really deserve a shot.

In what is obviously the best montage MTV has ever made, the pool party begins and drunken co-eds begin to party down! Happy birthday, Broday, you jackass.

Time for the double date. She-Pratt and Cameron are 30+ minutes late, but at least they aren't at Don Antionio's. Spencer is evil, as always. He brings up Doug! But Cameron takes it all in stride, I guess. Apparently though, Cameron knew Broday way back when and Spencer's none too pleased about this!

In a total junior high move, J.Bob steals a flower scrunchie that Cory had given to Audrina and won't give it back. But I'm pretty sure that Audrina shot it over to him, so she deserves what she gets. And the antics continue the next morning when they have another confrontation about how Audrina ditched J.Bob for Cory. He still won't give her the flower back and she's pouting. I can't believe I just typed that. This is the sh*ttiest episode ever. I mean, did you see the jean cut-offs!?

She-Pratt and Spencer have words over his crappy behavior at the date last night. Get this, S-P went and found him where he was working out! Oh man, what a set up that was! He was wearing a shirt without an ounce of sweat on it and all we see is him running down some stairs. It's like, "Cue Spencer, down stairs, and ACTION!" He really shows his acting chops when he stretches during the conversation. Nice. Really convincing portrayal.

Over at Cabo Jr. High, Guidance Counselor Lauren is talking to Audrina about letting Justin go. Wise words, from Ms. I Have No Luck With Men.

Next time: I can hardly bring myself to type the words... Audrina. Goes back. To Justin. Shoot me now.