VMA Highlights and (Mostly) Lowlights

I knew I shouldn't have watched it. All my better judgement was telling me to turn off the TV. But I couldn't resist and I watched the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Give me some credit, I DVR'd it so I fast forwarded through all the commercials and stupid parts. And let me tell ya, I condensed that 2+ hour sucker into about 45 minutes. The format was all janky this year. It was in Vegas at the Palms. They split it up into different "parties" hosted by various stars including J.Timb, Kanye West, Fallout Boy and Foo Fighters. It was all over the place and no one even seemed to be paying attention to the awards portion of the show. The rooms that seemed to be having the most fun were J.Timb's (duh) and Kanye's. The guests at those parties were basically treated to a sweet concert all night long. Which would be really sweet, if this weren't an awards show. This new format was a big bust. But anyway...here are some of my favorite moments!
Britney's comeback. It was terrible. She seemed nervous or unprepared or something, and she was just going through the motions. Her costume was boring, her dancing was lame and her weave was just bad. If she were going to "comeback" this would have been the place to do it and she didn't.
Chris Brown's performance. Chris Brown is like 17 or something. That kid can dance. Even JT said CB made him look old. He did a Michael Jackson dance to Billie Jean and it was fabulous.
"Umbrella" by Rhiana. That song is catchy and it won at least 2 awards, including best video.
Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. They punched each other out over something, probably Pam Anderson-related. Idiots.
All the rappers making fun of Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. P.Diddy laughed about it like they were 2 kids fighting over a toy on the playground. I guess that is basically what happened, though.
The Hills Girls. They presented an award to J.Timb. Even more reason to hate them.
Jennifer Garner. I love her, but why was she there? She's got a new movie with Jamie Foxx (which he yelled out about 25 times), but she's hardly got the street cred for the VMAs. Anyhoo, the reason she's on the list is because she and JFoxx presented an award to best new artist. She announced the winner as "Gym Class Fallout." All you tweeny music lovers will know that this is a combination of two of the nominees. Gym Class Heroes and Fallout Boy. Her face when she announced it was priceless. She looked at the card for a second, then looked up and announced "Gym Class..." and then paused as if searching for the last word and out popped "fallout." It was probably the highlight of the show for me.
Lowlight of the evening - Miss Teen South Carolina. Seriously? The dumbest girl in the Miss Teen USA pageant gets an invite to the VMAs? OK. The sends a really great message to all the youngsters out there. Say dumb stuff and get to hang out with Kanye West and J.Timb! She did make fun of herself a bit, but she was totally reading cue cards and if you have to read cue cards to make fun of yourself, there's something terribly wrong.
Overall, it sucked.