When holidays and Hills collide

Due to the holiday and my need to pack for a flight the next day, I didn't actually watch last week's episode of The Hills until tonight. I know. It's shocking. Anyway, I was going to skip over the recap, but after watching it I definitely have some things to say! And also, I hear people saying/blogging/bitching about how the Hills is fake and scripted and whatever else. Here's what I'm saying: I don't care. Officially. So, just quit whining about it and let peoeple watch the friggin show already! I like it!

Part one: "Ah, to be a natural beauty."
I really enjoy the dynamic between Whitney and Lauren. It's like they're friends, but they aren't super close, so they can't be TOO honest with each other. How else would Lauren let Whitney go out of the house (to meet a boy!) in that getup? Is she serious with that lingerie/tights combo? I know I don't work at Teen Vogue, but she looked like an ice skater.

Whitney's trainer/date seemed kinda lame, too. It would be weird to date your trainer, wouldn't it? When they went up to that park, they would talk and all the sudden he'd bust in with, "OK, give me 10 jumping jacks!" Oh, that's not gonna work for me, actually. Not to mention that he just stands there and watches you while you do them. Weird!

Speidi came thisclose to breaking up when Spencer decided that they should forget about couples counseling and just elope to Vegas. Heidi wasn't so thrilled about the idea and gave him his ring back. I was pretty sure it was going to melt if it got too close to that flame (in one of the 50 candles they had lit, what's up with them?), close call. Spencer left because nothing says, "I'm mature enough to consider marriage" like leaving in the middle of an argument. Oh, but don't worry. Those roses and ever-so-heartfelt apology should clear things right up. The wedding is BACK ON!

Part two: The She-Pratt
Spencer's got a sister...yikes! Lauren should be more scared of her, for reals. And, as it turns out, ShePratt is not afraid to make a fool out of herself in public. The confrontation between her and her psycho friend and Lauren's posse was one of the more ridiculous things I've seen a Pratt do, and that's really saying something. Brody actually did a good job defending Lauren and himself, but then again, I'm on their (logical) side, so it totally made sense to me. ShePratt didn't so much understand. And neither did Spencer when she explained it to him. Of course, Spencer gave huge props to ShePratt for defending him and butting into his business. Oh, but the best part was watching Heidi's face when ShePratt referred to herself as Heidi's "best friend." Ah, yeah, I know she has like zero friends, but Bunney and Worker Potential Friend are certainly above you. Crazy! She also thought JBob was "the nicest one outta all them" so that tells you something.

The only other interesting thing in this episode was Audrina breaking up with JBob. I guess no more dreads and head scarves in our future. Sad. Even sadder was when it seemed as if Audrina was going to forgive JBob for kissing that other trashy girl. She was a milisecond away from being completely dead to me. But she redeemed herself and sent JBob packing, all classy-like in her fancy apartment. That apt. is bad luck. It's where everyone goes to break up.

Next week! Lauren confronts Brody about knowing a lot of other girls, in the always interesting "are-we-or-aren't-we-dating" dance! Game on!