This is as close to smiling as I get

This week was all about Teen Vogue! The plans are being laid for the Teen Hollywood Party that Whitney and Lauren are responsible for. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like that's a big responsibility to place on their shoulders? I know they're not planning the WHOLE thing, but traveling to NYC to present to Amy Astley (who will now be referred to as Bangs McGhee) is kind of a big deal and it didn't seem like Whit was prepared. More on that in a second...

Spencer takes another crack at visiting Heidi at Bolthouse. And this time (hey, what a coincidence!), he runs into Frankie. They talk about how Spencer sucks and is delusional about the end of the friendship with Brody. I mean, that's what I heard, anyway. At the end of their convo, he runs upstairs to tell Heidi that Frankie was mean to him and that he doesn't want to be friends with that traitor Brody after all. Who is he kidding with this?

Lauren and Whitney hit the red-eye flight to NYC and Lauren dons her dress to meet with Bangs McGhee. It's a cute dress, for sure, and perhaps Whitney could have taken a lesson and not worn her party dress to the presentation. I have to admit, I didn't think anything of Whit's dress because in her meeting with Lisa Love she was wearing a tube top and miniskirt. Teen Vogue has the loosest dress code ever because you can slap on, well, a tube top and miniskirt and call it high fashion and people believe you because you work at Teen Vogue!

When the girls get to the NYC office, Bangs immediately sends Lauren to Marc Jacobs's studio to do something, what exactly she'll be doing is unclear. But it is implied that it might be cool...and it really isn't. Working a casting seems like a pain in the ass, especially when you are being bossed around as much as Lauren is ("These girls need be 100% styled"). She did get to meet Marc Jacobs, though, and that seemed to appease her. She was cool as a cucumber when they met (he was wearing sweats, basically, and that doesn't command a lot of respect), but afterwards told Whitney that she was "gonna go give Lisa Love and hug and then run away because I'm afraid of what she'll do to me."

Whitney's presentation went OK. I think that the editing of this show is either really bad, or they want people to think that these girls really suck at their job. I know we've mentioned the awkward silences between the girls and I think it's especially apparent when they talk with Lisa Love. Here's some advice girls, if you don't have any clue what your boss is talking about, just smile and nod. Don't just sit there with a blank stare on your face! Anyway, the presentation looked worse than it was, I guess, because after the girls returned to LA, Lisa Love (with an entrance that included an entourage) told Whitney that Bangs said the presentation went well. Whitney was relieved for half a second because then Lisa told her that she was a little "dressy" for the presentation. Wow, that's embarrassing! Not only because Lisa Love called you out, but also because that comment has traveled through the halls of the NYC office, to Bangs herself and then via phone to Lisa Love!! What is this, an episode of Gossip Girl?

The episode wrapped up with Brody over at Lauren's place (where was Audrina this episode?) talking about Spencer. Brody turned Spencer down because he still wants to be friends with Lauren. They make a cute couple, I'll go ahead and say it again. And did you see the bling'd out watch that Brody had?! It must weigh at least 5 lbs.

I also wanted to make my point again about the girls wearing whatever they want and calling it fashion. Take a look at this: You'll notice that Whitney looks like she's heading to Jr. High circa 1993 when cut off jean shorts and wind jackets were pretty cool. And Lauren dons her Michael Jackson hat and the transformation to 1993 is complete. Girls, you lost me on this one. Stick with the cute dresses. See ya next week!

Pajiba: You are my sunshine.

Pajiba is a web site that publishes blogger-style reviews of TV shows, movies, book and more. It's tag line is "Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People" so it seems only natural that I love it so much. I used to read it a lot about two years ago, when I was out of a job and surfing the internet for jobs. After I found one, I forgot my good ol' friend, Pajiba. Oh, what a mistake that was.

After a morning full of reading movie reviews (see, I went there for work, I swear!) I feel reborn! There's just something so wonderful about reading what people have to say about something. But, and this is why Pajiba is my new favorite web site in the entire world, they do it better. It's on my level, it's a TV-watcher's/movie-goer's/book-reader's friend. Because the people reviewing the material aren't concerned with being PC. It's uncensored and fabulous. And what really sold me on it today especially was the review they gave of Friday Night Lights. I don't think I've gone into a lot of detail about that show (but I plan to, because it's one of the greatest shows on TV), but I love it and the review of it on Pajiba captured exactly why I love it. I think I was nodding my head while reading the entire review. Which isn't to say that I love reading what I agree with, although that can be nice, but mainly it tells me that they think like I do. They understand me. They like what I like (for the most part). That's pretty important when reading reviews for movies, books and even TV shows. Otherwise you're just taking advice from some hack at the San Francisco Chronicle who may or may not have ever seen an episode of Seinfeld! The horror!

To sum up: the reviews are good and funny and you should check it out if you have some time.

You Should Be Keeping Up With the Kardashians

This is my plea with you fellow bloggers to watch the gem of reality show that is Keeping Up With the Kardashians. We all know and love Brody Jenner of The Hills fame, so why wouldn't we want to watch a show that features an extension of his family?
I know, I know, Bruce Jenner has had a little, ok-a lot- of plastic surgery and looks a little bit scary, but I think once you over look that, you'll adore the show.
Here are the lessons I have learned so far:

1) Making a sex tape with Brandi's little brother can get you on the Tyra Bank's show.
2) In California, it's ok for pre-teens to attend a booze party and actually mix the drinks.
3) You don't have to have talent in Hollywood to get your own t.v. show-your dad just has to have money.

And if you guys would watch the show, you would know what I am talking about.

"I love passing judgement on people"

I love it too, Lo. That's why I think we should be friends. You would be very much at home on our blog where essentially that's all that we do. It's so fun! Why I've even passed judgement on you before, Lo. I know, I know. Don't let this keep you away from the blog! Anyway, on to the recap...

Heidi's infamous comment, "Got to go to work...you should try it" finally surfaced on last night's ep. It was about time she stood up to Spencer's whining about how all she does is work. It probably seems that way to him since he never works. Which brings me to my first question: did Spencer used to work for Brody? Was he his publicist or something? Because when you end a friendship for a ridiculous reason and in effect lose your only client, you're pretty much a moron. So, I wouldn't be surprised is all I'm saying.

Finally we get to see some interesting job stuff at Teen Vogue. Castings! Lauren sees a guy (Gavin) that she tried to set up with Heidi the year before. Awkward! The guy seems nice enough so when he asks for Lauren's number, she gives it to him. Obviously, if she liked you she wouldn't have tried to pawn you off on her best friend. Get with it, buddy.

Brody's BBQs look like a lot of fun. But beware Gavin, because Brody still secretly loves Lauren and will stop at nothing to sabotage you! Including, asking if you're a nice guy and how your last relationship ended. Wait. Really? Is that all ya got, Brody? Oh, and telling Lauren that Gavin seems "too perfect" was a risky move, but it seems to have played off. She likes the bad boys, it seems. Too bad you are looking like the opposite of bad with that stupid hand cast on.

Favorite part of the episode alert! When Spencer goes into Bolthouse and asks to see Heidi and the receptionist girl asks, "And you are?" CLASSIC! Oh man, you know that broke his heart. And c'mon, that girl has to watch the Hills. She freakin' works at Bolthouse and she's not watching the Hills?? Puh-lease! It's practically a mandatory job assignment from Brent Bolthouse himself. But still, props to her for ruining Spencer's day.

Lauren's date with Gavin didn't have any "sparks." Well, duh. I think we all saw that one coming. So Lauren invited Brody over to watch a movie. Why don't these two just admit that they love each other?! Frankie needs to step up his game and get them to date again. What a finale that would be!

Twins

The resemblance is uncanny! All we need now is a "monkey stick" for Spencer.

I Like America

This article almost sounds like a joke. Unfortunately, it's not, so yeah, I'm terrified for people in New Delhi.

*Story and image courtesy of comcast.net.

Taco Hell

I have never been a fan of Taco Bell. It's not that I hate the food, it's just that I never really feel compelled to eat their style of Mexican cuisine. And now, well now I think it's safe to say that I have crossed the line from tolerating to hating. Cuz guess who's behind the new campaign to promote awareness of starving countries! SPEIDI. Yes. Spencer and Heidi thought it would be good for their image to latch on to this event that is all about getting 3rd world countries some food. It's a good idea....in theory. Because what ended up happening was Speidi wolfed down some tacos in front of a bunch of paparazzi and now all anyone can think about is how they never want to eat at Taco Bell again. Ever. Because you try watching either of them eat and then get your appetite for food back. It's not happening. Trust me. So, if Taco Bell's secret plan was to get people to order a lot of food and then get so grossed out by Speidi eating it that they were forced to then send it away to someone else, then great going! You are an evil genius, Taco Bell.
This is only perpetuated by the fact that B.Spears decided to run for the border last week. My main problem with this is that she and her friend are dressed as if it's midnight and they are getting a "fourth meal." It's clearly daytime. The sunlight is bursting through those windows! But nothing says you're sane enough for visitation rights than putting on your nicest pair of daisy dukes, leopard heels and heading to Taco Bell! I can't believe that Federline was the sane one all along.

Don't deny it!

I thought this week's episode of The Hills was really good! My mom loved it too, as I made her watch it with me on Tuesday morning. What a sport! Since it's been a couple days, this post might take a few liberties paraphrasing some quotes. That's why they call it "paraphrasing" and not "quoting." Duh.

OK, so my favorite part of the entire episode was when Lo called Justin-Bobby a loser. Lo is so awesome! Except she was kind of annoying about the whole Bunney thing. Didn't she and Lauren stop being friends for a while because of Bunney? Or was that Heidi? Oh well, like it matters. Bunney and Lauren aren't actually friends, either, even if Bunney thinks otherwise. Lauren's just using Bunney to get info to Heidi. Like when she told Bunney that she knew it was Spencer spreading the rumors. Bunney hopped right over to Heidi and told her that. It's like playing telephone. Spencer told Lauren that he knew for "100% fact" that "they" (Speidi) spread the rumors. Then, Lauren told Bunney that she knew for a fact that Spencer spread the rumors (suddenly Heidi's gone from the equation). Then Bunney tells Heidi that Lauren knows that it wasn't Brody that spread the rumors. And what does Heidi hear? Who knows, but she totally flipped out and accused Bunney of "coming at her like that" (uh, what?) when she calmly asked her if she did it. Gah, Heidi, can't your Maid of Honor think that you might have spread vicious lies about your former best friend? Isn't that what good Maids of Honor do? Right after they try and talk you OUT of getting married. Bunney is the best. Good pick, Heidi!

The scenes in the pool hall were so classic. I think Audrina is being brainwashed by J.Bob. She used to be all about the gossip with Lauren about her BFs and now she's all "it's our business, no one elses!" Lame. Where have I heard that before? Oh, that's right. J.Bob. Right after he said something about truth and time telling all. And how did Lauren know he said that, by the way? Are they watching early episodes while still filming the end of the season? Surely Audrina wouldn't share those personal moments of their relationship! Never! One thing's for sure. I would prefer to look at J.Bob's gross hair than Spencer's disgusting facial hair any day. But there was one scene where he was clean shaven! Did you catch it? And the next, it was back. Ugghh. Why?!

And yes, let's talk about Spencer for a second. I believe that when Heidi told Spencer that Brody told Lauren that it was Spencer (I had to re-read that) who spread the rumors, he never denied it! Calling someone a "little bitch" can happen when someone has broken your trust about keeping a certain dirty secret! Yeah, and then Heidi sort of caught on to that and straight up asked him. NO denial! None. He did it. Of course he did. I can't believe anyone would ever think it was Brody. Spencer is evil. And I give a small piece of credit to Heidi for not knowing or pretending not to know, or at least not being involved in the whole thing. She's dumb, but she's not totally evil. I still don't think that her and Lauren should be friends again, though. That would not be good for the budding relationship between Brody and Lauren. Whatever, it's gonna happen.

Otherwise, Teen Vogue was boring, Heidi got in trouble (though she doesn't accept responsibility, surprise!), Spencer was reading a book that looked like those "_________ for Dummies" manuals!, Brody was trying to date Lauren, and Lo was funny. Again. That's a wrap!

Tis the season? Not really.

I saw people putting up Christmas lights on some trees in downtown AA yesterday! What??! It's October. Not even Thanksgiving yet. Not even November yet! It seems way too early for that kind of thing. Don't get me wrong, I love when the lights are up and I especially love the holidays. But I think that if you start pretending like it's the holidays on October 11th, then you've got a really, really long way to go until it's actually Christmas. And I know that Kari will tell you, "It's basically Christmas" beginning in August, but I think we should at least wait until mid-November to hang the lights. What do you guys think?

Who WON'T she marry?

Good ol' Pam Anderson got married again last weekend. This time to Rick Salomon, the co-star of Paris Hilton's old sex tape. This couple's marriage is basically doomed to fail. Let's recap! Pam's been married to and then divorced by both Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Uh-huh. Not exactly shining stars in the role model department. Salomon was once married to Shannen Doherty. Um, yikes! This guy is all kinds of crazy if he married Brenda from 90210! And that diagnosis is confirmed with his latest marriage to Pammy.

I'm all for finding love again after failed attempts. But why the marriage business? Those two are making a mockery of it. You don't have to rush out to the courthouse and make it official every time you love someone. It's not a spur of the moment decision, like, "hey wanna order some takeout?" But I bet Pam and Rick's marriage proposal went down a little something like this:

Pam: My new movie is so good!

Rick: That's awesome, Pam! I can't wait to see it!

Pam: I know, I think the could be Oscar buzz...fingers crossed!

Rick: Awww, you're just adorable. We should get married!

Pam: Ohmygosh! We totally should! I LOVE marriage! It's so fun and easy and quick! I think I have the courthouse on my speed dial! I'll call right now and make an appointment! Oh, we're going to be so happy together, Rich!

Rick: It's Rick.

True love is a splendid thing. Congrats to Pam and Rich!

Beyond "The Office"

Because the fall TV premieres are in full swing, I thought we probably need to re-evaluate our favorite TV shows. I gave several new shows a shot this year, because I didn't seem to think that our current TV schedule was quite full enough. I ask you, if we aren't watching TV from 7-11, every single night, then are we really living? That's what I thought.

For me, the show that has the most potential is Pushing Daisies. The premise is pretty silly, but then again, so is the show itself. But it's silly and charming and fun. Brittnee described it as "colorful" and she couldn't be more right. I look forward to watching it next week. Now I just have to get Brant on board with me. He wasn't quite as impressed by the show.

Next on my list is Dirty Sexy Money. It just sounds good, right? And I enjoyed it. I think the characters are fun and since there are so many, the writers have plenty to work with. Could it be the modern-day Dallas? Maybe. I was too young to fully appreciate Dallas... okay, I didn't watch it because my parents wouldn't let me. But since almost everyone knows what "Who shot JR?" means, I'm thinking it was a hit. And I know it was full of intrigue and deceit and all about the family. We'll see how Dirty Sexy Money fairs, but I for one will be watching.

And now for a quick run-down of the other shows we watched:

Chuck- Pretty entertaining. I've watched two episodes now. I'm not quite hooked, but I do enjoy watching the show.

Gossip Girl - I have not watched this yet, but it is on my DVR waiting. I've heard it's the new OC, but set in Manhattan. What about that doesn't sound good?

Private Practice - Snore. I wanted this to be good because I liked Kate Walsh's character on Grey's Anatomy. Unfortunately, I hate all of the characters on this new show. They are boring and so is the show. Plus, I think I can only stand to watch one medical drama/soap at a time.

Big Shots - I was excited about this show. It was billed as SATC, but with men. However, these men have nothing on Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Everything about the show felt forced to me and I didn't find any of the jokes funny.

What have you ladies been watching???

VEGAS!

This episode was stolen by the very talented supporting cast. I really enjoyed all the second-hand players and would now like to share with you my favorites and then, wait for it...pick a winner!

Nominee #1: Spencer's facial hair. It's looking especially disgusting this week. He is the grossest person alive.

Nominee #2: Justin-Bobby. For one, the boy said literally nothing the entire episode, and he was featured prominently! For two, he brought a guitar on the plane. And third, his hair is a hot mess.

Nominee #3: Jill. Who the heck is she? I had to enter her because it's so weird that she was so involved in this weekend. Automatic disqualification.

Nominee #4: Lo. Made the first bet of the weekend - who can be the first one to make Justin-Bobby smile. OK, it's not so much a bet as a contest, but she's still my favorite of Lauren's friends.

Nominee #5: Frankie. Wants Lauren and Brody to date so badly that he's talking to both of them. Chemistry, Laughing, Love. I see it happening, too Frankie.

Nominee #6: Lo's Britney. Lauren is funny.

Nominee #7: That other guy. The friend of Brody's that no one knows. When Frankie suggested (again) that his 2 best friends start dating, other guy replied, "Me and Brody?" And it was funny.

Nominee #8: Elodie. Even now I cannot contain my love for her. She is such an ice cold biatch! But how dare Heidi ask her to work the event for her! I don't buy the "it's business, it's not personal," because Heidi is a liar face. "Anything for you" Heidi. Ice Cold, I tell you!! When Heidi's phone rang I just knew what was coming. It is about time that Heidi got hers. And she prompted a pretty tense situation between Speidi in which Heidi said, "I love you" to Spencer and he responded with, "No you don't." It is about time we had some honesty in their relationship.

There's really no contest. Elodie wins, hands down. I'm just sad that she quit Bolthouse and that we can't see her anymore. This post is for you, Elodie, wherever you are!

It's after Labor Day

There's that rule that you can't wear white after Labor Day. We've all heard it, and yet, I am struggling with the fine print. Does this apply to all articles of clothing? Color me embarrassed when, while shopping at the Gap yesterday, Eric took one look at the white items in my hands and said, "It's after Labor Day, you know." To which I replied, "I thought that was just for shoes." And he responded with, "You never hear people say 'Don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.'" Hmmmm. I guess that's true, I have never heard that. But c'mon, is there anything wrong with wearing white shirts? I'm not saying I do it all the time, but I've definitely done it before. And maybe I wasn't given a fashion violation before because I was wearing "winter white." But I ask you, what is the difference?!

So, I need your help, fellow bloggers and fabulous readers of the blog. Is it OK to wear white in some articles of clothing? Or must it be a specific version of white - namely, winter. Do tell!