hey audrina, you need to dump justin bobby's ass. the kid is a loser. he has terrible, dirty hair and treats you like crap. and the monologue he spun for you at the bar was probably in large part due to him being high. so, get rid of him and let's go to les deux!
xoxo,
Lauren
********************
audrina,
let's let truth and time tell all. and let's also pretend we know what that means because it sounds so profound. let's go for a ride on my bike and let truth and time be our guide.
justin bobby
********************
dearest spencer,
i love being engaged to you! wanna go shopping for normal furniture tomorrow? i mean, i guess we can keep the jelly tank and the arcade games, because i know they were gifts for me. you're so thoughtful. also, i'm not at all mad about the graffiti. i gotta run to home depot and pick up some white pa--uh, pants. they are selling pants there now, so...yeah. anyway, love ya lots!
heidi
********************
heidi-ho,
yo, spence here. grab me a couple pairs-a those home depot pants. i bet they're so fly. also, i picked up a couple more things for the apartment - a sweet new pool table and some bitchin' neon signs that say "OPEN" because it'll be like a pool hall. and i think that you'll really like them. they're vintage.
S-dawg
ps. so, did i technically propose, or, what?
7 comments:
dear lauren-
find new friends, like me for instance. i guess i'm technically an old friend, but whatever. i haven't been on the hills yet. anyhoo, i'm funny. i eat ice cream and i encourage you to skip the gym. what more could you want? i promise not to date any chester cheetah look-alikes or super losers with gross hair.
see ya soon girl,
lo
Dear Lauren, Audrina, and Heidi,
I have tried to call you a bunch of times, but you have never called me back. Are you ok? We haven't talked in a while, and I was just wondering how you were. Anyway, your long lost friend misses you...so give me a call sometime.
Sincerely,
Taste in Men
Dear Whitney,
I am sorry that you are not included in the show much. It's kind of like you are the forgotten cast member. It really is sad that you seem to be the only one with a solid head on her shoulders, a real job and great taste in clothes, but you still only show up in approx. 1 minute of each show. I hope the editors will begin to include you in the show more. You may have to hook up with a hideous assface or maybe kiss a boy I like, or maybe just get really drunk and chase me around Les Deux and I'll yell "you know what you did" at you and then you'll log some t.v. time for sure.
good luck!
Lauren
Dear Cast -
I am terminating your television show, 'The Hills,' effective immediately. The reasons include, but are not limited to, the following: A) Justin Bobby is an idiot, B) Spencer is an idiot, C) Spencer's best friend is an idiot, and D) everyone not mentioned so far is an idiot.
Your show makes my head hurt. And this is coming from someone who just renewed the Real World through 2038 AFTER seeing the first few episodes from Sydney.
God bless,
MTV
dear lauren,
I absoutely love you! youur prefect and i will always love youu.
you have been a great role model in mylife..
you helped me change my life and turn ita aorund and let me know that i cando what i want in life'
THank youuuu
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