No Job = Even More TV

And since TV blows, let's talk about a few commercials. I just saw a DirectTV commercial that looked locally produced, so I doubt you will have the great fortune of seeing it for yourself. Two young boys are playing with a race car track in their living room. Their dad is watching/playing as well. Suddenly, the boys get up and say "We're bored, dad. We're going outside." The dad appears heartbroken. Heartbroken that his boys would resort to such devices as "outside." He immediately thinks to call DirectTV in order to make sure that they can have enough channels so the boys won't ever be bored enough to go outside again. It's officially the worst commercial out there right now.

Running a close second is another local gem, this time for a local TV station's website. It's a close-up shot of a printer that spits out pages. Each page has a few words that by the end of the commercial, tells how their website is better than the other local TV station sites. You're probably having a hard time picturing this commercial because you're thinking "surely it's not just an old printer spitting out page after page with a few words on it." Well, it is. What kills me is that more often than not, it's followed immediately by a "Go Green" promo for the same station.

Last week USA had a Psych marathon for an entire day. I watched a few episodes and I had no idea that advertisers expected millions of old people close to their death watching as well. During every single commercial break, and I'm not exaggerating, there was a commercial for life insurance. They were as bad as you would expect for daytime TV with most of them beginning with two people talking about funeral costs. I just found it odd that they were on during a Psych marathon. I just don't see Psych as a show that older Americans enjoy. But maybe I'm wrong.

What the Hellga?

Last night, Eric and I tuned into the premiere of "American Gladiators." Whatever, don't judge us! If you haven't seen the old American Gladiators, then you're missing out on some great sports entertainment. We had to see if this new version was even half as good as the classic. The bad news is, it's not. Let me explain why the new version is much, much worse:

1. The arena. A lot of the games are actually the same. There's the Gauntlet, Joust, that one with the rings, and of course, The Eliminator. The problem lies in the space they allowed for the construction. There's obviously a lot of reuse in the games. The Wall also doubled for the start of the Eliminator and I get that it makes sense to try and save on space. But when the Rings has about 6 rows to choose from, it's just no fun. The classic version had about 30 rows, it seemed! That really allows a player to think out a strategy and outwit the Gladiators. Not so much with the new version - there's hardly time to think before you're face-to-face with a huge gladiator.

2. The hosts. Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali. Let me tell you, even combined they are no Larry Czonka! And they've increased the number of player interviews, going so far as having Hulkster interview each contestant BEFORE the event and Laila interview them RIGHT AFTER the event. Just shut up, already! I don't need to hear how excited and pumped up a player is to beat the Gladiator. And even worse is talking to the players right after. What do you want them to say? Half the contestants on the show are cocky SOBs who talk themselves up so much it's almost impossible to take them seriously, anyway. Don't put a microphone in their face every chance you get. And for reals, Hulk Hogan is terrible. His trademark, "Brother!" is inserted at the end of every sentence (when talking to the gentlemen, of course) and it drove me insane. Where's the Czonka-strator, anyway?

3. The contestants. I don't think I can blame the show for this, but all the contestants are really arrogant and obnoxious now. I think this is due in part to how people in general have changed over the years. From businessmen to professional athletes, everyone makes a much bigger deal about themselves now. Back in the day, people were more humble and gracious. And I realize that I'm 25 years old and it doesn't make sense for me to say that, but I watch reruns, people, and I know how it was!

I will say that the one positive thing that the show has going for it is that all of the Gladiators are absolutely terrifying. Much more so than the classic version, where you could tell that the Gladiators were mostly just beefed up guys and girls who took their job seriously in a good-natured way. This time around, I feel as if the Gladiators are all basically crazy. They have that look in their eye that they want to eliminate the competition at any cost. I was legitimately scared of at least 5 of them, 4 of them guys.

In short, with nothing else to watch this TV season, I could be persuaded to watch again mostly to make fun of it, and maybe with the sound off. But it won't make it as part of the (dwindling) rotation, brother!

Ommmmm...

I went to the fitness center at our apartment complex this morning. Try not to laugh at that opening statement. Anyway, I peered into the glass door and saw that with the exception of some flip flops, the rooms appeared empty. Feeling safe, I opened the door and walked in. Much to my surprise there was a man meditating in front of the mirror. It was completely silent in that room. Imagine how loud it must have been as I poured myself some water from the water cooler. When I stepped on the elliptical, I felt like I had just dropped a hundred pots and pans on a hard kitchen floor. The man didn't move.

I went on with my workout and he eventually finished up his meditation and left. Initially I was feeling terrible for interrupting him. The elliptical machine was so loud in that quiet little room. By the time he left though, I had decided that a fitness center is no place for meditation and, if anything, he interrupted my workout by making me feel like I had to be silent. Okay, maybe that's a bit much, but still, go meditate in a private space next time.

Who would have guessed?

I hate to have to be the one to tell you this...but it looks as if Pam Anderson and current husband Rick Solomon might be getting divorced. I know, I know...I didn't see it coming either, but sometimes you give it all you have and still it doesn't work. These kids tried their best. They dated for about a month and gave marriage a shot for oh, what? about 60 days? Listen, that's twice as long as they dated, so I think it's a miracle it lasted as long as it did.

One thing I can say about ol' Pammy is that she never disappoints. For example, look at all the people disappointed in Jamie Lynn Spears. It's tough, and yet, it's her own fault for pretending to be a good ole girl with a hit show on Nickelodeon who was so much more sane than Britney it was hard to believe they were related. And yet. Oh, how the tables have turned. She set the standards too high and couldn't quite live up to it. On the other hand, we have Pam. First off, Pam's been married like 7 times. And about half of those are to Tommy Lee, because face it, those two are meant to be together. Second, she doesn't have the best taste in men. She likes the skuzzers. She finds them appealing for some odd reason. But what I will say is that I never for one second expected her marriage to last, and at least I'm not disappointed in her!

OK, look, I tried to put a positive spin on it, I really did. I wasn't too keen on the idea of her getting married in the first place and now this is just the icing on the cake. I told you so, Pam! Oh, and for the gamblers out there, my money's on Tommy Lee for the next go-round!

Aristocrats and Royalty!

...Wait...Uh...is it?...OVER?? Are you kidding me with that finale? What even happened?? Lame.

Here's the breakdown: Whitney was invited to Paris and Lauren pouted about not getting invited even though she pretended to understand why she wasn't asked. Some dude named Kimball (who looked super thrilled to be there) came down from NYC to take Whitney to a grand ball full of aristocrats and royalty. Oh...OK. That sounds legit. How about you just come right out and say that the "aristocrats" are the Hilton sisters and the "royalty" is Sir Mix-a-lot. Don't try and dress it up, Teen Vogue.

Heidi and Spencer are still recovering from their fight. All of their fights are the same. Why don't they ever resolve anything? They argue about their wedding, Spencer leaves and gives Heidi "space" and then comes back and calls Heidi some ridiculous nickname like "stranger" and gives her flowers and thinks that that solves something. You have to actually talk things out, you idiots. So, anyway, Heidi bares her soul to Work Friend and even I'm confused when she says she "gave up everything" to be with Spencer. You gave up Lauren. Was she everything? You still have your job, your clothes and you even gained a new nose and some boobs! Talk about a sacrifice. Gah!

ShePratt meets up with an obviously lonely and alone Spencer at a coffee shop and tells him that he should email Heidi. Genius. Has this girl ever been in a relationship? Why not just IM her? Let's just take the easiest route we can to apologizing. I think a text message should suffice. Surprisingly, Spencer heads on down to Bolthouse in person and finally the receptionist recognizes him! But, Heidi sends Work Friend to tell him she left for the day! Whoa! That is ice cold! Because of course, Heidi is still at work, spinning away in her huge chair.

Here comes the shock of the season! Are you ready? Oh, it's almost too much... Lauren gets to...go to...PARIS! I know! You had never guessed, right?! Such a huge surprise! The sad part about all of this is that MTV thinks that we give a crap that Lauren gets to go to Paris. This could have been just another episode where she gets invited and they film them at the airport leaving and then cue some "French" music and a random plane arriving back to LAX where they get off the plane wearing berets and eating croissants. How is my idea any worse than what actually happened? Oh, because she "made a decision" about Brody? Whatever! She's just putting that off until after Paris. It's not as if Paris is some magical land where all your problems are solved and you come back with all the answers. Brody's still going to be there, with his phone full of girls numbers, giving Lauren mixed signals and wearing under eye concealer. Plus, Lauren can't be going for very long because she didn't pack all that much (except for the 20 pairs of shoes). My guess is she is going for all of a week.

Finally, and this is maybe bigger than the news of Lauren going to Paris (not possible, right?) - Speidi are giving each other some space. Heidi's headed back to Colorado to whine about how Spencer is an idiot. And Spencer will go back to his parents' house to try and finish a book for a change. One of the inexplicable things about their relationship is how they say they are so in love, but neither one of them seemed to care if they separated for a while. Spencer, for one, looks as if he's about to take a nap and Heidi looks as if she can't remember whether or not she packed her socks yet. If we are to believe that reality continues after the cameras stop rolling, then we can still see that Speidi are still together. How long ago was that Taco Bell stuff? That had to have been after the show stopped filming right? I can't believe that MTV would miss an opportunity like that. But, for now, it seems that the Speidi Wedding is on the back burner.

I haven't watched the After Show yet, but I did read that the BIG announcement was that the season isn't quite over yet. Apparently my dream of getting to watch the girls eat croissants and wear berets will be fulfilled! Now I feel better since this episode wasn't technically the finale. They had better make it up to us with the Paris episodes!

I'm better than Slash

Some video games are cool, while some go beyond cool, reaching a level that makes me want to blog about them. This is one of those games. Guitar Hero III for the Wii. I know Guitar Hero has been out for a long time, but it's only recently become available on the Wii (our gaming system of choice), so naturally Eric had to hunt for it like a mad man until he finally found one (actually 2, he bought an additional one to sell online) at a Circuit City in Brighton, MI (30 mins from Ann Arbor). A Christmas miracle, indeed! We weren't about to wait for Christmas to open this bad boy, oh no. We played for several hours over the weekend and actually completed a solo career in the "Easy" mode. Eric has already moved up to the "Medium" level, and while I attempted to play a song on Medium, I found that my little pinky just can't handle it right now. It's going to take some practice. But I was able to defeat the one and only Slash in a battle of guitar greatness, so I'm making some progress. We will be bringing the Wii and this game down with us to Fayetteville, so I hope you all can come over to the parents house and give it a try!

Holiday Parties Galore

Last night was our office Christmas dinner. And as expected, it was... uncomfortable. I like everyone here at work well enough, but trying to talk about non-work related things can be tough. The fact that I'm not that big of a fan of people in general and I hate hugs only makes events like these worse. With that said, I had a pretty good time. The food was great, the drinks were free and I ended up with the best ornament in the ornament exchange. Yessssss!

With our penchant for making rules, I thought we could come up with a set of Office Party rules, just for fun. I have to go to another dinner tonight for the husband, so any tips would be welcome. I'll start...

1. Never make a toast. Ever. No matter how much wine you've had.

Upgrade!

I really enjoyed this episode. I know that not all that much happened in it, I mean the stare-face time alone was probably close to 5 whole minutes, but it seemed more "real" than some of the previous episodes.

For example, even Spiedi's fight seemed legit. ShePratt actually did the right thing, in my opinion. Doesn't Heidi realize that if ShePratt is delusional enough to think they are best friends, then she's probably crazy enough to not listen to any of what Heidi actually says...well, at least the part when she told ShePratt not to tell Spencer that she wanted to postpone the wedding. Really? Did Heidi actually think she wouldn't tell him? But, like I said, I think that Spencer had a right to know that info, and although the timing could have been better (aka, NOT when he's buying Save the Date cards), it's good that he found out. What ISN'T good is that Spencer can't seem to talk/argue about anything with Heidi without storming off. That's not a super great quality in a future husband. Next week we're supposed to believe that they might not get back together. Maybe I could, if it weren't for constant pictures of Speidi at every Taco Bell in a major metropolitan area. The jig is up, MTV. If you really want to keep us guessing, you're going to have to sequester the cast of the Hills until their season is over...just like Survivor. Hey, wait a minute...the cast of the Hills on Survivor! I think I just hit the jackpot! Somebody get me the head of CBS' programming!

The main reason that this episode was great was that Lauren was hilarious. For one, she totally called out JBob for being a terrible boyfriend. Thankfully Audrina finally gets it now, and even had a laugh when Lauren said that the fact that Audrina's new crush bathed made him superior to JBob. Harsh, but so true. And the mating game still persists between Lauren and Brody. It could be my favorite moment of the entire season when Lauren started going through Brody's phone and reading off the names of the girls in there. Some favorites include: Britney Platinum Blonde, Amy Wanna Bang, and Canada Whore. I can see why Lauren doesn't want to put up with that. But they are ridiculously cute together and that's gotta count for something, right?! It looks like Lauren wants to wait for Brody to suggest they start dating. And clearly, he's too much of a player for that.

In other news, Audrina's new Aussie boyfriend seems great; Lo was fabulous as usual and Brody and Frankie as Batman and Robin was perfect.

Next week is the season finale! What could possibly happen between Spencer and Heidi!? Do Lauren and Brody finally start dating?! Does Brody wear under-eye concealer??? All your questions will be answered! See you then!

ShePratt is SCARY

NEED I SAY MORE?

Probably not, but I will. I read on PinkIsTheNewBlog.com that shepratt has a bit of a shady past. It seems she likes to shoplift. I wonder if the Pratts really have all of the money that Spencer wants us to think they have.
First he buys Heidi a costume ring and calls it an engagement ring and now we learn that his sister was arrested for shoplifting. And to state the obvious, her mugshot is not flattering. Would you want to have that yelling at you at a bar? I wouldn't. Nor would I want her out claiming to be my best friend (poor Heidi-LC was a much better choice for a bff).

When holidays and Hills collide

Due to the holiday and my need to pack for a flight the next day, I didn't actually watch last week's episode of The Hills until tonight. I know. It's shocking. Anyway, I was going to skip over the recap, but after watching it I definitely have some things to say! And also, I hear people saying/blogging/bitching about how the Hills is fake and scripted and whatever else. Here's what I'm saying: I don't care. Officially. So, just quit whining about it and let peoeple watch the friggin show already! I like it!

Part one: "Ah, to be a natural beauty."
I really enjoy the dynamic between Whitney and Lauren. It's like they're friends, but they aren't super close, so they can't be TOO honest with each other. How else would Lauren let Whitney go out of the house (to meet a boy!) in that getup? Is she serious with that lingerie/tights combo? I know I don't work at Teen Vogue, but she looked like an ice skater.

Whitney's trainer/date seemed kinda lame, too. It would be weird to date your trainer, wouldn't it? When they went up to that park, they would talk and all the sudden he'd bust in with, "OK, give me 10 jumping jacks!" Oh, that's not gonna work for me, actually. Not to mention that he just stands there and watches you while you do them. Weird!

Speidi came thisclose to breaking up when Spencer decided that they should forget about couples counseling and just elope to Vegas. Heidi wasn't so thrilled about the idea and gave him his ring back. I was pretty sure it was going to melt if it got too close to that flame (in one of the 50 candles they had lit, what's up with them?), close call. Spencer left because nothing says, "I'm mature enough to consider marriage" like leaving in the middle of an argument. Oh, but don't worry. Those roses and ever-so-heartfelt apology should clear things right up. The wedding is BACK ON!

Part two: The She-Pratt
Spencer's got a sister...yikes! Lauren should be more scared of her, for reals. And, as it turns out, ShePratt is not afraid to make a fool out of herself in public. The confrontation between her and her psycho friend and Lauren's posse was one of the more ridiculous things I've seen a Pratt do, and that's really saying something. Brody actually did a good job defending Lauren and himself, but then again, I'm on their (logical) side, so it totally made sense to me. ShePratt didn't so much understand. And neither did Spencer when she explained it to him. Of course, Spencer gave huge props to ShePratt for defending him and butting into his business. Oh, but the best part was watching Heidi's face when ShePratt referred to herself as Heidi's "best friend." Ah, yeah, I know she has like zero friends, but Bunney and Worker Potential Friend are certainly above you. Crazy! She also thought JBob was "the nicest one outta all them" so that tells you something.

The only other interesting thing in this episode was Audrina breaking up with JBob. I guess no more dreads and head scarves in our future. Sad. Even sadder was when it seemed as if Audrina was going to forgive JBob for kissing that other trashy girl. She was a milisecond away from being completely dead to me. But she redeemed herself and sent JBob packing, all classy-like in her fancy apartment. That apt. is bad luck. It's where everyone goes to break up.

Next week! Lauren confronts Brody about knowing a lot of other girls, in the always interesting "are-we-or-aren't-we-dating" dance! Game on!

Project Runway: You Better Watch!

Are you all watching Project Runway?! I just watched last week's episode and I have two things to mention that I 100% guarantee will get you watching again.

One: The guest star on last week's episode was SARAH JESSICA PARKER!! I literally gasped when she came on screen. She is adorable! And one of my (and I know your) favorites. Even if you don't want to watch the rest of the season, you should at least watch last week's episode because the winning design was cute and its going to be a part of her fall/winter Bitten line. But I think after the next reason you will be watching all season long...

Two: One of the models was in the Ad/PR department at U of A! This is her pic from the first episode and I totally recognize her from the halls or a class or something. True, the models don't get featured that much on this show, but still! I want to see how far she goes! She wasn't in the second episode much because only half the models got to work the runway since the designers paired up. But she shows up at the beginning when the designers select the models. Watch for her, I know you'll recognize her.

I got the FEVER!

Christmas fever, that is! After a wonderful Thanksgiving with Eric's side of the family, which included several large (and delicious) meals and over 400 family photos, I'm officially ready for Christmas! It's a bit early, I'll admit, especially since I was the one nagging on the blog about a month ago about how people are decorating for Christmas earlier and earlier every year. But, it's not THAT early. Thanksgiving is over and that's fair game to begin the Christmas season. Regardless, I got the urge to decorate the apt. last night and it's a winter wonderland in there now! We have a 3 foot plastic tree that is adorned with lights, beads and ornaments and it's so cute. It makes my day to come home from work and plug that bad boy in! Such joy! The rest of the place is full of Christmas nick-nacks from Christmas' of yore. About 95% of the decorations come from Eric's mom who usually sends me some new stuff every year, and it's all really cute and festive and I love it. In fact, I think the reason I decided to decorate so early is because Eric's family had already decorated their houses with the first wave of decor. Whatever the reason, the countdown to Christmas has begun. And you'd better believe I've got a cute, little countdown chotchky to help me get there!

All I Want for Christmas

Well ladies, Christmas is fast approaching. I have bought all of one present for the people in my family, which means that I pretty much haven't even started Christmas shopping yet. Not good.

But anyway, we need to decide what we want to do this year. We have a few options that I'll list below. Feel free to change or add anything.

Option One: Choose a dollar limit and get each other gifts.
Option Two: No gifts. Spend our money on a nice dinner out with each other (i.e. Bordino's).
Option Three: Buy small gifts and go out for dinner on the cheap (i.e. Guido's).
Option Four: Choose a collectible gift category (like ornaments, except not ornaments because everyone does ornaments) and get that for each other this year and for years to come.

Sooooo, let's decide!

The Tooth Fairy visits Ryan Reynolds

Since movie stars have more money than they know what to do with, I am sure they are especially hard to shop for. So I could imagine that if your movie star boyfriend was turning 31 you might really struggle with what to get him. I mean I am sure they already have everything they could ever want or need.
One might think of presenting them with a trip or maybe even a romantic dinner...but not Scarlett Johansson. Oh no, she is not content to present her boyfriend with meaningless material goods. She has much bigger plans for her boyfriend on his birthday.
She's gonna get him his very on visit from the Tooth Fairy...and what might the Tooth Fairy bring, you might ask...well obviously she'll bring S.Johansson's boyfriend one of S.Johansson's wisdom teeth. And clearly when giving a wisdom tooth as a present, one must dip it in gold and make it into a necklace, because what says Happy Birthday Sweetie more than a gold-plated wisdom tooth necklace?

I have to cite my source here, as my boss actually found this g and told me about it.

So to recap - Ryan Reynolds recently turned 31, his girlfriend Scarlett Johansson gave him a necklace made of one of her gold-dipped wisdom teeth. Romantic.

How do you spell D-E-N-I-A-L?

Brent Bolthouse is running the show tonight! "Isn't that Heidi's boss?" Really, Whitney? Do you watch the show? No, don't answer that. Because I know you do. Don't even lie!

Heidi invites new girl (potential friend!) to the Power of the Vote event that Bolthouse is throwing. This is a really good idea for two reasons: 1) Heidi has no other friends, and otherwise she'd have to go alone and 2) she saves having to take Spencer out in public and embarrass herself. Finally thinking clearly!

Hmmm...anyone famous? No...no...guy form Ugly Betty, he gets a maybe...and OH. NO. HE. ISN'T! Justin Timberlake, ya'll! Turning up for the good causes, cuz he's a model citizen! Wait, what is this event for? "Declaring Yourself?" What does that mean? If I were J.TImb. I would declare myself the most awesome dancer/singer/Saturday Night Live guest host ever!

What is up with Lauren's front pooch area of her dress? It is basically a second stomach on the outside of her dress. But at least she's wearing something besides a super short shiny sequined dress like Heidi and Potential Friend (PT).

Oooh, cut to the motorcycle twins...and cue matching leather jackets. They are out on a "date" ah, and JBob's growing out dreads. Nothing he does surprises me anymore. Oh, but wait. The loudest, most disgusting burp in history, right in the middle of Audrina's confession that she is nervous about work. Why does she put up with this crap? And then he lies about calling her and she asks him out on a date. Well, if she's only going to encourage his behavior, then she deserves what she gets.

It's time for the confrontation! Heidi refers to Lauren as "that girl I've been telling you about" to PT as if she has never seen the show. And then Heidi thinks it's a good idea to say hello. Yeah, that sounds awesome, why not? She only hates your guts, what's the biggie?

Well, apparently those 2 are not on the same page about the fallout. Heidi thinks she's an innocent old friend who is just catching up and frankly, I don't buy it at all. I'm glad Lauren didn't get all crazy and cut her. She handled herself pretty well, considering that her ex BFF won't admit that she's ever done anything wrong in her entire life.

Uhhh, what was that commercial/movie about a line for Target? Did anyone watch it? Weird.

Audrina's promotion makes her a groupie, essentially, right? Whatever, she and Sean Kingston should date. He's a teddy bear! Oooh, and she's ditching JBob for Sean! I like where this is going.

Question: Who IMs in the year 2007? Heidi sets up a meeting! It's all happening.

Sean Kingston teaches Audrina and other epic girl some new lingo, including "poppin'" "tore it up" and "shut it down." I cast my vote for Sean as the newest cast member of The Hills.

Spencer is reading Heidi's chat. He's such a great catch. WHY does he hate Lauren so much? For trying to break them up? She didn't do anything other than want to hang out with her best friend. What is the crime, Spence?

I can't believe that I for one second thought those flowers to Audrina could be from JBob. HA! No, they are from Big Sean Kingston, who is only 17?! Did I hear that right?

Oh god, Heidi brought flowers to Lauren. She's desperate. Lauren throws them into the sink. Classic.

And their talk was very informative, because while Heidi didn't flat out admit that Spencer spread the rumors, she never denied anything. So, it's obvious it was him. What gets me is why Heidi has to put this huge ribbon on everything and tie it up nice and pretty. Why with all the "oh, the apartment looks nice" crap and at the end with "Have a good night, Lauren." It's clear that she doesn't care, but she has to be so fake all the time. She's extremely fake to the point of being condescending, like no one else can tell. Well, guess what lady, you're ridiculous!

At least Lauren sat there for a minute with a scowl acknowledging that things were bad.

Next week: Premarital counseling! Yes, this is the best idea EVER! Ah, and of course, Spencer wants to go to Vegas instead. You go on Heidi, you throw that ring in his face! I wish it was the end of Speidi, but it's obvious that they are still out there, defiling Taco Bells everywhere.

A Very Simple Choice

Dear Fellow Bloggers of StopYellingAtMe,

You two have a very simple choice to make:

1)

OR

2)

I would think this would be a very easy choice, but after reading the last post....I'm not sure what to think. A world that embraces TomKat embraces EVERYTHING that is crazy.
That's how he gets you. He acts all nice and charming - supports his robot, I mean wife, while she runs a marathon that he MADE her run. Anyone can have a cute kid when they go pick it out at the store...I'm still not convinced that Katie was ever actually pregnant. Anyway, so he's all nice and charming and his movies start becoming hits again and he limits his time in front of the cameras and people are all "Maybe I was wrong about TomKat. Maybe they are AWESOME." And then he's gonna be jumping on furniture again and screaming and cheering that he tricked America, just like he tricked Katie. It's only a matter of time before we are all robots living in Tom's CRUISAZY world. Unless someone stands up to his craziness. And fellow bloggers, I feel that someone is ME. So I say no to TomKat. I don't care if Katie runs from LA to NY, I'm NEVER EVER going to like them.

Droppin' the G

We haven't talked about celebs in a while, so I thought we needed to dish on the latest in celeb life. Soooo... here we go. Let's start with a little confession from me. I am starting to like TomKat. Yes, that was hard for me to type. There are a few reasons I've come to this decision. One, their baby is C-U-T-E and no one can deny that. Two, Katie ran a marathon. You have to give props to a girl who can run a full marathon after having a baby. And Suri is not that old (And speaking of babies, it's time for the annoucement JLo. We all know you've got one in there.). Three, they aren't in our faces all the time like they used to be. Instead of pictures every single day, all day, we get maybe one or two a week. And in those pics, they seem happy and more genuine than before. And finally, I haven't heard any crazy Scientology talk from them in a while. So until further notice, I'm on team TomKat.

Rosie O'Donnell is in talks for another show. Sick. I will readily admit that I enjoyed her in the early years. Her first talk show was funny and entertaining. She threw Koosh balls around all the time and made people laugh. Flash forward to The View: The only things she throws around is bad attitude and she constantly berates the lovely Elisabeth Hasselbeck. While I pass no judgment on her lifestyle, I think she a rude, arrogant person and I will not be tuning in to hear her views on anything.

And finally, because I'm running out of things that I care about, I have to mention Spears. We said we didn't want to talk about her anymore, but it has to be said that she is still plum crazy (and notice how I didn't use cruiseazy this time. See, I like 'em).

The Hills: A character study

Lisa Love. Oh, Lisa Love...you are perhaps the epitome of every scary woman boss that has ever existed. But, I think it's just for show. I saw you secretly enjoying hanging out with Whitney during the seating at the Young Hollywood fashion show. You're a softy at heart, aren't you?! I bet Lisa and Whitney are BFFs by now.

Heidi. Poor, been drinkin' illegally for years, Heidi. Celebrating your 21st birthday might be exciting if you had waited to order that first drink on the special day. However, ordering a glass of wine at LUNCH on a work day isn't exactly the thrill that you should be getting. Don't you know that Brent Bolthouse Tivo's The Hills on a Season Pass, girl? Please, get smart about it. And while you're at it, dump Spencer. Just dump him. He got you the great purse and I'm sure it was mucho dinero, but after the purse excitement, there was nothing between you at all. Stop the charade! You both probably deserve each other, but I'm sick of watching you both at Taco Bell pretending to give a crap about hunger issues.

Justin Bobby. You are my favorite, J.Bob, I'll go ahead and say it. This is only because when you appear on screen I know I'm destined for a laugh. And you did not disappoint me tonight with your and Audrina's matching leather jackets. It was enough that you wore the black boots with capris, but you took it up a notch with the leather, and I commend you for it. What I don't care for is that you never answer a question directly. If someone asks you if you're dating a girl, an appropriate response might be something like, "yeah" or "no" even. Not, "she's a good person" or "pretty good." Yeah, because those 2 answers don't even make sense at all. Not even a little.

Previews. See, this is where MTV is riding a very thin line with me. Because I have been deceived one too many times, MTV. Pretending that the fashion show would start too early, thus costing Whitney and Lauren their jobs at the hand of Lisa Love is just mean. That whole "mishap" lasted all of 5 seconds. And yet...and yet, I am very excited about next week's episode because it's the dreaded reunion of former best friends! Heidi and Lauren run into each other at an event at some club or something. Doesn't matter. There is a shouting match of some kind and then Heidi wants to meet up with Lauren where (apparently), Lauren tells Heidi that she wants to "forget" her. Ouch! Those are harsh words. And we'll see if Lauren in fact does say them to Heidi. Or whether MTV just cut that all together with bits and pieces from past seasons. Oh, like they wouldn't do it?

It's Just a Little Crush

I've decided that Lee Pace, better known as "Ned" from Pushing Daisies (and let's face it, that's a cuter name for him anyway), is my new celeb crush. Last season I guess I would have to say that Dr. Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey, duh) was my TV crush. I'm not sure he had much competition. I guess Jack Shepherd on Lost is attractive but lack of shaving tools on that island strikes him right out of my book. Of all the TV shows I watch, I frankly cannot think of any other characters that I find really attractive. Anyhoo, Dr. Shepherd is still plenty good-looking, his relationship with droopy-faced Meredith is just annoying now. I'm over it. He was probably always a little too suave for me anyway.

So it's on to Ned. He's charming. He's cute. He's funny in a subtle way. I'd like to think that he's a lot like many of the guys I dated in high school and in college. Only, truth be told, he's much better looking and much more charming. Now I just have to hope that quirky little Pushing Daisies and Ned can charm a few more viewers and stay on the air!

This is as close to smiling as I get

This week was all about Teen Vogue! The plans are being laid for the Teen Hollywood Party that Whitney and Lauren are responsible for. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like that's a big responsibility to place on their shoulders? I know they're not planning the WHOLE thing, but traveling to NYC to present to Amy Astley (who will now be referred to as Bangs McGhee) is kind of a big deal and it didn't seem like Whit was prepared. More on that in a second...

Spencer takes another crack at visiting Heidi at Bolthouse. And this time (hey, what a coincidence!), he runs into Frankie. They talk about how Spencer sucks and is delusional about the end of the friendship with Brody. I mean, that's what I heard, anyway. At the end of their convo, he runs upstairs to tell Heidi that Frankie was mean to him and that he doesn't want to be friends with that traitor Brody after all. Who is he kidding with this?

Lauren and Whitney hit the red-eye flight to NYC and Lauren dons her dress to meet with Bangs McGhee. It's a cute dress, for sure, and perhaps Whitney could have taken a lesson and not worn her party dress to the presentation. I have to admit, I didn't think anything of Whit's dress because in her meeting with Lisa Love she was wearing a tube top and miniskirt. Teen Vogue has the loosest dress code ever because you can slap on, well, a tube top and miniskirt and call it high fashion and people believe you because you work at Teen Vogue!

When the girls get to the NYC office, Bangs immediately sends Lauren to Marc Jacobs's studio to do something, what exactly she'll be doing is unclear. But it is implied that it might be cool...and it really isn't. Working a casting seems like a pain in the ass, especially when you are being bossed around as much as Lauren is ("These girls need be 100% styled"). She did get to meet Marc Jacobs, though, and that seemed to appease her. She was cool as a cucumber when they met (he was wearing sweats, basically, and that doesn't command a lot of respect), but afterwards told Whitney that she was "gonna go give Lisa Love and hug and then run away because I'm afraid of what she'll do to me."

Whitney's presentation went OK. I think that the editing of this show is either really bad, or they want people to think that these girls really suck at their job. I know we've mentioned the awkward silences between the girls and I think it's especially apparent when they talk with Lisa Love. Here's some advice girls, if you don't have any clue what your boss is talking about, just smile and nod. Don't just sit there with a blank stare on your face! Anyway, the presentation looked worse than it was, I guess, because after the girls returned to LA, Lisa Love (with an entrance that included an entourage) told Whitney that Bangs said the presentation went well. Whitney was relieved for half a second because then Lisa told her that she was a little "dressy" for the presentation. Wow, that's embarrassing! Not only because Lisa Love called you out, but also because that comment has traveled through the halls of the NYC office, to Bangs herself and then via phone to Lisa Love!! What is this, an episode of Gossip Girl?

The episode wrapped up with Brody over at Lauren's place (where was Audrina this episode?) talking about Spencer. Brody turned Spencer down because he still wants to be friends with Lauren. They make a cute couple, I'll go ahead and say it again. And did you see the bling'd out watch that Brody had?! It must weigh at least 5 lbs.

I also wanted to make my point again about the girls wearing whatever they want and calling it fashion. Take a look at this: You'll notice that Whitney looks like she's heading to Jr. High circa 1993 when cut off jean shorts and wind jackets were pretty cool. And Lauren dons her Michael Jackson hat and the transformation to 1993 is complete. Girls, you lost me on this one. Stick with the cute dresses. See ya next week!